Facing Up
by Pipshall
Summary: The meeting of a disfigured man and the woman he loves. Can it overcome all the trials that lie in their way? A modern story, inspired by POTO.
1. Chapter 1

Trinity College, Cambridge, 1993 

Chapter One

The desk lamp cast a pool of light in the otherwise dim room. It threw into relief the clutter of items on the desk that was placed in the corner. The tower of books, pushed to one side, the litter of paper and pens scattered over the surface and the pile of files all cast eerie shadows across the pad that lay open on the desk.

Eric blinked in the dull light. The statistics in front of him refused to stay stationary, the figures dancing across the page. He tiredly crossed out his current answer and threw his pen down leaving a trail of gleaming ink drops on the paper, adding to the current chaos on the page#. He was distracted, not concentrating on the assignment. Normally maths posed little problem for him, he enjoyed the cold approach of calculus and the certainty of the answers.

Allowing distraction to win, he eased himself out of his chair and glanced around. Like so many halls of residence, it was worn and lived in as generations of students had passed through. Therefore despite the poor light the general shabbiness of the room was not hidden.

With a brief glance once more at the statistics, he shook his head in despair and picked up his guitar that was propped up against the wall. Seeking refuge in the music he sat on his bed and started to softly strum the instrument, not wanting to wake Rob, his sleeping next-door neighbour. Yet the music swelled beneath his fingers and sprang from the strings, drowning out the usual noises from the corridor.

Lost in the sound he allowed his imagination to wander, to approach the source of his distraction. It was that girl, he admitted grimly to himself. A woman, always a woman that caused him to lose his concentration, to forget what he was in life and why he held the position he did. He plucked the strings with force as he remembered the other evening.

Rob had dragged him out. He was the one person that Eric truly regarded as a friend; for he seemed without the prejudice or artifice, so many people had. Rob claimed that Eric needed to truly discover all that life had to offer, which as far as he was concerned was a lot of alcohol and as many relationships with the opposite sex as he could fall in lust with. Eric was taken up in his neighbours hulking great stride and swept down to the bar with several of Rob's friends.

Normally Eric tried to avoid groups of people like this. Amongst a tightly knit community of friends, he always felt awkward, standing outside the circle of trust that was shared between them, the intimate understanding that could only exist between friends and couples, something he had never experienced. Waves of anger, born from a deep rooted fear washed over him as he stood on the outside of the group, a pint clutched in his hand, trying to participate in the general discussion and ignore the way their stared at his face.

He was just trying to resist the urge to bolt back to his room and hide from them all when their conversations were interrupted as one of the most beautiful girls Eric believed he had ever seen bounded up to them with obvious enthusiasm. She hugged Rob warmly and greeted the others in a similar fashion. Eric had been stunned, as he has stared at her, drinking in her smiling face, long shiny hair and throaty laugh. She turned to him, still smiling and introduced herself, but before he could do more then answer his name to her questioning, she was distracted and dragged away by another of what seemed to be her numerous acquaintances. Eric watched as she disappeared amongst the throng of people that filled the bar area, trying to imprint her image on his mind. He had seen her before, in a few of his lectures, but she had never noticed him and so Eric has never been witness to her smile, her laugh.

At this thought he threw his guitar on to the bed with disgust. Of course she would have noticed him. He knew he was hard to avoid, that he was clearly obvious on campus, despite his attempts to blend in. Standing up he flung his cupboard door open, forcing himself to stare at his reflection in the small mirror that hung on the inside of the door. Most of it was lost in the shadows, but the soft white of the mask that covered his face stood out clearly.

Eric groaned in frustration. Always, always it was there like a barrier to the rest of the world. He turned on the overhead light so that the room was suddenly cast into harsh clear colour. With a beating heart he raised his hands and removed the mask with trembling fingers, staring at his reflection in the mirror, forcing himself to acknowledge his face.

It stared back at him, as it always had for the past eighteen years. Admittedly changed from the horror it had been when he was young, by countless operations, it still was not the same as other people's faces. He knew that he could make the choice to leave the mask off, to bare his face to the world, but he could not bring himself to do so. A childhood of being forced to wear it had bred in him a habit that was hard to break.

It was his mother that had fed his insecurity and disgust by revealing to him her own. Unable to come to terms with the fact that her son did not reflect the dictates of a society that valued perfection, she had been unable to overcome her own prejudices and treat him like a normal child. Eric became aware from an early age that he was not so and that his face was the reason for his Mother's attitude. She had made the covering for his face and refused to look at him unless he was wearing it, deliberately distancing herself from her offspring.

Deprived of the affection of his only surviving parent and denied access to other children, Eric had grown up in imposed isolation that only compounded his self-disgust and loathing. By the time he reached his teenage years he was torn between the desire to join the world at large and to hide away from the curiosity and disgust with which he seemed to be judged.

His brooding was interrupted by a knock on the door. With a gesture that was second nature he replaced the mask. He warily looked at the door unused to having visitors. The summons sounded again and he walked over, opening it roughly and staring down at the person who dare interrupt his evening. He recoiled slightly as he saw that his visitor was the girl of his dreams, standing in the doorway, clutching a piece of paper in her hand.

'Hi,' she said slightly unsurely, a frown briefly settling on her forehead as she took in his stoic manner. 'I'm Katherine,' she continued when Eric did not reply. "I'm on your course, we met down the bar the other day." He stood there and stared at her. 'I was wondering if you could help me," she continued, filling the lengthening silence. "I am stuck on the last question on the assignment. I was going to ask Rob to introduce us, but there is a notice on his door promising unbelievable pain to anyone who disturbs him.

'Yeah,' Eric found his voice and stepping back admitted her to his room. 'He was balled out by his DoS for missing lectures and not handing in a couple of assignments. I think he is trying to catch up.

'That sounds like Rob,' Katherine replied. 'Sport first and everything else afterwards. So have you managed to figure this out? Pretty nasty set of questions, they've taken me an age to do.' She held out the piece of paper to him a hesitant smile widening her mouth. Eric took it from her hand and turning to his desk looked at the mess that his homework was in. Suddenly the fog that had been clouding his senses lifted and the answer seemed clearly obvious to him. He gave a brief grimace at his earlier stupidity.

'Easy,' he picked up his pen and corrected a few figures in her formula. 'You had the right method, just the wrong direction. But this one is very misleading - there's actually a mistake in the question.' He turned and handed the paper back to Katherine, who had sat down next to the guitar on his bed. 'That should work.'

"Gosh," Katherine looked suitably impressed as she smiled up at him. "Rob said you were good at Maths, but I didn't realise you were a genius." Eric let out a startled laugh at this comment.

"The word genius is like the word luxury, far too liberally applied. I just find Maths easy. Either you do or you don't." He shrugged his shoulders gracefully.

"And music." Katherine stated, placing a hand on the guitar next to her.

"Pardon?"

"I take it you find music easy. They often go together I believe." Katherine explained tapping the wood, so that it vibrated softly.

"I was never aware that it could be difficult," he replied to her explanation, bending down and retrieving the instrument from under her hand and propping it up against the desk. "A world without music would be a horrible place." He turned and gazed at her, slightly startled to find his eyes met directly.

"Absolutely," Katherine agreed, standing up as if aware of his discomfort. "Well, listen, thank you very much for all of this," she waved the paper in her hand. "You have rather saved my bacon, as they say." She smiled softly as she looked at him towering over her. "Tell you what, can I repay you with a drink?"

"Now?" Eric was startled.

"As good a time as any, don't you think? We can celebrate the fact that you have helped me finish a whole Maths assignment."

Eric hesitated, unsure of the offer, the bar was not a place that he tended to spend much time. "Okay, just a quiet one," he confirmed, not wanting to meet a lot of people. He paused and looked around the room with confusion before locating his shoes underneath his bed. Bending his tall frame in half he retrieved them unaware of Katherine's stare.

She quietly inhaled as she looked at him, having never been in such a private situation with him before. As the mask was so obvious, people tended to use that as the defining feature when they described him, but for the first time Katherine saw the tall frame unfurl itself. "He must be at least six foot four," she thought to herself as he stood up his height dwarfing hers. Yet when he moved he carried himself with such grace that it was almost as if he were listening to music. Katherine watched him silently, taking in his movements as they left the room and headed to the bar.

Being early in the week, it was doing a quiet trade that night and they easily found a table. Eric had naturally veered towards a seat in the corner away from the traffic approaching the counter.

"What would you like?" he asked taking his wallet out of his pocket and standing over her.

"Lager would be lovely," she smiled, "but let me pay for this, as I've dragged you out." She handed him a five-pound note and watched as he went to get the drinks. She bit her lip unsure and looked down at the ring-marked table, before once again raising her eyes to Eric waiting at the bar. "You are crazy Katherine," she muttered to herself. "He is a closed book, nothing to find out here". She smiled sadly to herself as she waited for him to return.

She had seen Eric plenty of times on and around campus, he even attended some of her lectures, but she had never dared approach him before. He always seemed so proudly alone, rarely speaking to anyone else, his communication with other people brief and often terse.

She had wanted to talk with him for ages, but could never find the right moment to strike up a conversation. There always seemed to be a gaggle of people around her and if her observations were correct it was the one thing that would make him run a mile.

She had hoped that Rob would introduce her, for he seemed friendly enough with his next-door neighbour. But she was frustrated when, having finally plucked up her courage with a legitimate reason she found her friend unavailable for the evening. It had taken courage to knock on his door.

"Here you go," her thoughts were disturbed as a pint was unceremoniously placed in front of her. "Hope you don't mind Fosters, it is all they have on at the moment." He smiled at her, a smile that faded fast as he realised how intently Katherine was looking at him. He noted that she was not doing this with the same curiosity that others did and she was not staring at the mask so much as looking at his eyes. "So," he finally broke the silence. "Have you known Rob for a long time?"

Katherine laughed. "Don't you mean why have you not met me sneaking out of his room in the early hours of the morning?" Eric looked at her in shock.

"Well the thought did cross my mind."

"I know Rob too well," she explained. "We grew up in the same town and have been to school together since we were nine. You kind of get to know peoples habits."

"Like promiscuity?"

"Exactly, he started at sixteen and has never stopped. I suppose he will settle down one day, but at the moment I believe his motto is 'rugby, women and then work. I hope he manages to catch up," she added as an afterthought.

"Well he was trying to get me to help him," Eric admitted. "But I pointed out that I couldn't exactly read the books for him."

"You might be a bit big to take into an exam as a mascot as well," Katherine chuckled. "Besides, you do maths, how could you help him with chemistry?" Eric shrugged and took a sip of his drink. "Ah, I see, a man of many talents." Katherine answered for him. "You should charge for you services, I could do with your help more often." The comment wrenched a laugh from him.

"If you find Maths so difficult, why are you reading it?"

"I'm not," Katherine explained. "I am actually doing Economics and am taking a few modules in Maths as I really want to do my final year in Business Management and it will stand me in better stead." She cocked her head and looked at him. "I will just have to keep you sweet so that you will continue to help me." She smiled cheekily, a dimple adding an air of innocence to her face. "Now tell me, what else do you like to do apart from helping people with their work?"

Eric paused rather amazed at the question, as he was not use to explaining himself and his likes and dislikes. He fell silent and mused over the idea. "Well music," he said finally. "I like to play the guitar, piano, compose, that sort of stuff."

"Do you sing?" Katherine demanded.

"Uh, yeah. Goes with the territory really."

"That's a pity," she signed. "I love music, but as soon as I open my mouth, even the cats and dogs run for cover."

At this, Eric burst out laughing, the sound causing Katherine to smile. "Why is it a pity?" he finally asked after he had calmed down.

"Well, it means that you will never ask me to partner you at Karaoke and we probably won't be able to be in the drama musical together. I mean just think of all the potential doors that are shut in our faces, just because I sound like a croaking toad!"

"That hasn't stopped many people who sound even worse," Eric commented. "I could always teach you if you want."

"And what would that require?"

"Total submission to my training methods," he replied, propping his chin against his hand and gazing at her intently, returning her stare, too lost in the conversation to practice his usual caution. "Oh and no chocolate or cheese."

"If that's the case then no thanks," Katherine replied, shaking her head. "Sounds far too hard a bargain, I would rather croak like a toad!"

Eric laughed again; unaware of how he had been drawn out. He began to relax, his grip loosening on the glass and his frame relaxing in the chair. "So when you're not out scaring the cats and dogs, what do you do?" he questioned.

Katherine pulled a face in thoughtfulness. "Go out a lot, get drunk more then I should," she added. "My Dad is a vet, so I've grown up learning to love animals, nature, being outside. I love riding, cycling, swimming, but I do it all so haphazardly that I am okay at all of it, but fantastic at nothing. I just love being with friends, enjoying life, the joie de vivre, all that. There, now I've told you, it's your turn. Music, what else?"

"Music, drawing, singing, keeping fit. Do you want another drink?" Eric noticed that her glass was empty.

"Yes please." She watched him walk to the bar again and returned with a large pitcher. "Good thinking," she commented as he slid back into his chair.

"Saves getting up," he replied. "So, what were you asking me?"

"What do you enjoy doing?"

"Drinking," he replied filling up both their glasses.

"Naturally, but you said more."

"More?" He paused. "Oh you mean drawing, singing and all that." He subtly dismissed the subject. "The usual."

"Well that's one thing we have in common," Katherine mused, a grin on her face.

"But they do say that opposites attract," Eric regretted the words the minute they left his mouth. "I mean, I, it's just," he stammered, trying to justify his comment, cursing himself for his stupidity, for allowing the words to leave his mouth. Katherine stopped his flow of self-denial by firmly placing her hand on top of his.

Suddenly it all became clear to Eric. He needed to make this girl opposite him realise how he felt, explain his behaviour. He realised that she was watching him intently, her hand still trapping his, smooth and warm against his skin. People didn't normally touch him like that and he savoured the sensation. "Katherine," he said her name quietly, "I would like it if we could be friends - not through Rob, but because we enjoy each other's company." He realised that his speech sounded stilted and formal "I'll even help you with your homework," he added, hoping to lighten the mood.

Katherine stared at him, slightly surprised by the question for she had not been asked to be someone's friend since she was little. She stared at the man opposite and found he met her gaze unblinkingly. She studied what little of his features were on show. Even in the dim light of the bar, she could see that his hair was thick and dark, a wayward lock falling over his brow. The mask covered his forehead and cheeks, with space around the eyes, then continued over the bridge of his nose and across the top of his mouth, curling slightly downwards at the corners, but not enough to hide the hesitant smile that was dancing around the corner of his mouth, as he awaited her answer.

Her heart skipped a beat as she thought of the enormity of what he was requesting. Obviously he had noticed her, the way she had noticed him. Perhaps she had not been so foolish to believe there was an attraction. Love at first sight? She smiled slightly at the thought, realising that he was waiting for an answer, holding her in his gaze as if he were afraid to let it go.

"Of course," she spoke, after what seemed like an eternity. "Why else do you think I would have invited you out?" She squeezed his hand and released it, before breaking into peals of laughter so contagious that Eric found himself joining in.

It was only when a member of staff came and asked them to finish their pints that they both realised the time. They had been lost in their conversation, aided by several drinks. Katherine stood up first, only to sway unsteadily and sit back down. She shot a look of despair at Eric who burst out laughing.

"What's so funny?" She demanded loudly.

"You are," he replied and standing up almost as unsteadily, he put out his arms and hauled her up from her seat. "Come on, let's get you home." With his arm around her waist, they weaved an unsteady passage around the Great Court and back to their halls. Reaching Katherine's room they stood outside the door, arms locked around each other in an attempt to provide balance to the other.

"I had a really good time tonight." Katherine whispered with a giggle, leaning her head against his chest, her inhibitions drowned in what she had drunk. She looked up at him and Eric realising his opportunity bent his head and kissed her with alcohol fuelled passion. Katherine was vaguely aware of the mask rubbing against her cheek, but was soon lost in the kiss, the intensity and emotion of the evening pouring into every fibre in her body. She leaned into him and kissed him back with the same force as he was kissing her.

"Golly," she said as they broke apart, her face split in two with a wide grin. "That was amazing" she looked suggestively up at him, hoping for a repeat.

"Uh, I uh, better get going." Eric mumbled, realising that there were a severe risk of them both getting carried away. He bent down and kissed her again before staggering away to his room. Buoyed up by alcohol, he took off his clothes and his mask and fell into a comatose sleep on his bed, not even having a chance to go over the fantasies that had turned into reality.

The next morning, he wished that he could forget as easily. His head throbbed as if someone were beating a tempo on his skull, his tongue felt like there was an inch of fur growing on it and the feeling of nausea in his stomach refused to go away.

He managed to roll out of bed and stagger into the bathroom to the basin. He clumsily grabbed a glass and drunk as much water as he could stomach. Moaning, he sought the refuge of his bed again and pulled the covers over his head. The sunlight glared into the room in unseasonable brightness, where he had forgotten to close the curtains and in a nearby room someone had turned their music up very loudly.

Just as he was at the peak of feeling sorry for himself, there was a knock at the door. Eric glanced out from under the sheets, panicking, as he could not locate his mask anywhere. "Bugger off," he shouted, giving up his fruitless search. He barely had time to throw the duvet over his head again, as the visitor ignored his command and came into the room, letting the door slam shut behind him. Eric winced with the noise as it reverberated through his body.

"What's got into you mate?" he heard Rob ask with false pity.

"About twelve pints," came the reply from under the covers.

"I like that," the voice took on an offended tone. "I stay in for one night and you decide to go and get wasted without me. Who with?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Eric replied evasively. Rob glanced around the room, looking for some evidence of another occupant, especially a woman. But all he could see was a heap of clothes where Eric had stumbled out of them the night before and his mask dangling drunkenly off the desk lamp.

Realising that his friend was exceedingly hung over, he remained silent on the subject. "Well I better get going. Do you want me to get you anything?"

"Water, paracetamol," came the reply from under the cover accompanied by a large groan as if to symbolise the extent of his suffering. Rob walked down the corridor, musing on his friend's activities last night. As he reached the stairwell he met Katherine coming down the stairs.

"Hey Rob," she greeted him gingerly, without any of her usual effervescence.

"Hey Katie," he answered before pausing. "You okay?" He added in concern as she closed her eyes and grabbed the handrail.

"Just slightly hung over," she commented. "Bit too much to drink last night."

"Was there some party on last night? Everyone seems to have hangovers."

"Everyone?"

"Well you and Eric," he commented. "Hang on a sec, were you out together?" Katherine lowered her eyes and nodded her head.

"He helped me on some maths and we went out for a drink, got rather carried away. I am so regretting it so much." She swallowed heavily. "How is he?"

"Worse then you are I think," Rob said looking her over. "At least you are standing. "Were you going to see him?"

"I left some Maths homework there, better go and pick it up."

"Would you do me a favour and get him some pain killers and water?" Rob asked, passing over the responsibility. "I better not be late for lab, had a bit of a bollocking yesterday."

"Rob," Katherine admonished sternly before capitulating with a sigh. "Okay," she accepted, smiling gingerly at him. "See you later." She touched him gently on the arm in friendship before retracing her steps to her room.

Eric stumbled over to his desk and tied the mask on, intending to find Rob and the supplies he had requested. His alcohol soaked body trembled at the effort and he sunk into his chair, holding his head in his hands in an effort to stop the room spinning and control his increasing nausea. He sat there for several minutes, admonishing his irresponsible behaviour the night before, trying to force himself to accept his state as a duly deserved fault.

A knock at the door interrupted his downward spiral of self-sympathy. "Yeah," he groaned in invitation, unable to find the energy to stand up and open the door. "Cheers Rob," he thanked the person standing there, turning slightly and glancing at the figure through his fingers. To his surprise, it was not his neighbour, but Katherine looking down at him with a mixture of curiosity and pity. "Oh shit," he groaned realising he was presenting an unbecoming sight.

"Not feeling good?" she questioned with sympathy, resting a hand on his shoulder. "I don't feel fantastic either." She placed the bottle of water cradled in her arm on the desk and held out a packet of paracetomal. "Want some?"

"Cheers," he muttered, popping the tablets out of the wrapping and swallowing them, chased by a gulp of water. Closing his eyes, he tried to think of a clever conversation to impress her, to regain the intimacy of the evening before. However, his brain refused to cooperate and all he could think about was the soft manipulation of his shoulders as Katherine stood there, massaging them softly. He relaxed into the sensation, forgetting who was giving the comfort and sinking into his thoughts, as the bulk of his back was gripped, soft hands willingly touching him and rubbing his neck and shoulders. Suddenly, without warning, the hands stopped moving across his shoulders and ripped the mask off his face.

Eric's first reaction was one of pure panic. "What the fu…" he shouted, throwing his hand over the worst part of his face. Adrenalin surged through him, temporarily removing his hangover. Rising, he turned to face Katherine, dropping his hand as anger replaced his alarm. "You stupid bitch," he stepped towards her, intent only on recovering his mask, unaware of the threat in his movement.

Katherine stood rooted to the spot with fear, staring at the hungover, half-crazed man in front of her. She could not fully explain her actions to him, as she did not understand them herself. Her natural reaction was to take a step back, away from the angry swearing person in front of her, clutching the mask against her chest, whilst he continued his litany of curses. Having presence even when he was at peace, Eric now presented a formidable sight. Hoarse with rage and fury, his hangover added clumsiness to his otherwise graceful movements, but could not hide his inherent strength.

But it was his face that Katherine could not take her eyes off. She only had a half formulated plan when she pulled the covering off, a desire to truly see this man for whom she was beginning to develop feelings. Now her heart was beating in her mouth as she gazed at what he hid from everyone. The skin seemed almost too thin where a growth covered one cheek, raised hard and raw. It ran from under one eye, ending above his lip, slightly pulling them into a sneer. His other cheek was clear, except for scars, signs of early operations. Most were around his hairline, but one ran from the edge of his nose, into the curve of his mouth.

"Eric," she whispered softly. "I'm sorry." Trembling, she held out the covering to him, pleading with her eyes for him to accept her apology. He snatched it from her hand and tied it once more in place, over his features. Having had this restored to him, he sunk onto his unmade bed, clutching his head against his knees. Katherine watched him, unsure of what to do, desperate to leave but rooted to the spot with worry, fear and a curious lingering pity.

"Don't feel pity," the voice came from the figure on the edge of the bed. "Think whatever you want, feel disgusted, but don't pity me."

"Eric," Katherine started again hesitantly, wanting to explain, wanting to restore what they had the night before. At the sound of his name, he looked up at her. "Why don't you just get the fuck out," he roared, startling Katherine so much that she turned and wrenching the door open, ran out.

Unthinkingly she fled from the corridor and ran up to her room, before falling on to her bed, sobbing her heart out. She could not truly understand her feelings, but she realised that something that had seemed so promising had just come to a premature end and it was all her fault. She lay there for an hour, staring at the wall, replaying the scene in her mind.

She tried to be rational and argue that she hardly knew Eric. Yet she also knew that this was not the truth. What had started out as a friendly drink out of a wish to get to know the enigmatic person she had seen around campus, turned into a deep admiration and if she admitted it desire. From the first instance that they had started to talk she had felt a connection, hypnotised by his very being. His way of moving, the modulation of his voice, the way he carried himself. His overall presence was of power and strength and she found herself drawn to his presence, the commanding way he gestured when he spoke, held himself and moved. Yet as the evening drew on, Katherine realised this was just a facade. There was a childlike vulnerability to him that she craved to protect, but this was coupled with a ferocious intellect and what seemed like many unbounded talents in a variety of areas.

Their conversation ranged over many subjects, yet whenever Katherine had attempted to ask anything about Eric's past he quickly became evasive. She realised that this was hidden, like his face, behind a mask and the only way she would find anything out was to discover it for herself.

Focussing on this thought, she reassured herself that her actions could at least be explained, if not justified and if she wished to redeem the situation, she had better go and try and bridge the chasm that had just sprung up between Eric and herself. Clambering off her bed she splashed her face with cold water and gazed into the mirror.

She was the one who could do with a mask, she thought. Her eyes looked like slits in a swollen and puffy face, her hair was tousled and curled into a myriad of little ringlets around her hairline. She pushed them off her face and the action made her remember the scars that she had seen on Eric's face in a similar place. With a sigh she turned away from the mirror to concentrate on her next actions, putting eye balm on hoping to make the puffiness go down.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. Sighing at the disturbance she walked over and pulled it open. "What?" she said brusquely, hoping to fob off whoever was disturbing her. She looked up and saw him standing in front of her rather warily. Showered and dressed he resembled the Eric of last night.

"I figured I had some explaining to do," he offered.

Unable to find words to reply, Katherine raised her eyebrows and stood back, admitting him entry to her room. She tried to remain calm, faced with an opportunity she wanted, but was not prepared for as he wandered in and sat down in her armchair. "Would you like some tea? Or coffee?" She tried to bring a degree of normality to the situation, to try and prevent the feeling the executioner axe was about to fall.

"Yes, thanks," Eric accepted. There was hesitancy in his movements and Katherine guessed that he was nervous. As she made him the drink she watched him out of the corner of her vision. He had lost the enraged power that had surged through him earlier and now sitting uncomfortably in her room, resembling the man she had begun to connect with the night before.

"So?" she prompted, giving him an opening as she handed him the cup, before sitting down opposite him.

"I just, well I just wanted to ask, um well…" he trailed off, unable to formulate the question, pleading at her with his eyes, wanting her to understand how pathetically sorry he was for his outburst, to be able to take apart where they had been last night. For the first time, a girl had shown interest in him and he had ruined it with his temper.

"Why?" Katherine filled in for him after a pause. "You want to know why I did what I did?"

"Well, um, yes."

"I don't really know," she sighed. Raising her eyes she looked steadily into his noting that they seemed to be clear of any lingering traces from how much he had imbibed. "I wanted to know you Eric, to really see you." She paused and swallowed heavily. "I _am_ sorry you know. I didn't realise. Didn't even begin to imagine that you would be so, well, so angry. I just didn't want there to be any lies between us."

"Did you think I was lying?" Eric asked.

"No, but you were hiding something from me, which is the same thing." Katherine replied quietly. "We could hardly start a relationship unless it were based on truth." She spoke the words quietly, sadly, not holding back her true emotions, knowing that unless she was honest with this man she might loose him for good.

"Relationship?" Eric questioned, wondering if he had heard correctly, startled at her use of the word.

"Eric," she jiggled about nervously. "I don't want to be just friends. I mean what I am trying to say is that I want something more then just another drinking partner. I like you," she paused. "A lot – there seems to be a connection and well, I just wanted us to start on a level footing."

She could tell that he was at a loss for words as he stood there, his mouth falling open, shaking his head slightly as if he did not believe her words. He briefly closed his eyes and when he opened them again he seemed calmer, once more invested with the aura that flooded through his body. "I'm sorry," he said slowly. "I lost it. I cannot give a better explanation. I just tend to do that sometimes." He smiled slightly. "I do it to Rob a lot, he just doesn't let it bother him."

"You scared me," Katherine said quietly.

"I know - I'm kind of good at that," Eric said with a slight grin. "But I really don't want to hurt you and Katherine, I would like to, well, I would like…" He trailed off and Katherine realised that despite the opening she had offered him, he was still unsure. "What I am trying to say, very badly, is I like you too, a lot and would like to, um, get to know you better," he finished in a rush. Katherine thought that if she could see his face he would be blushing.

"So we start with the truth," she offered. "And we'll take it from there. Agreed?" Eric nodded, his eyes never leaving her face. "Okay," she said and came and sat down on the arm of the chair, lifting her hands very slowly clearly emphasising her intent. Eric leaned away from her slightly, as if afraid. "The truth," Katherine repeated and he sat rock solid as she once more lifted the mask off his face.

He sat unmoving, staring back at Katherine; the only sign of his inner turmoil was the increased heaviness of his breathing. She stared hard at his face, looking at the weld on his right cheek, examining the scars. She lightly traced the air over the one that ran by his mouth. "Did it hurt?" she asked.

"Yes," he replied. "Not as much as some of them, but more then others." Katherine, realising the immense inner control it was taking him, smiled slightly and leant forward, placing her lips against his. An intake of breath indicated his surprise but he returned the kiss.

Breaking apart Katherine handed him back the mask. He smiled as he took it from her, the gesture straightening his mouth before he tied the covering back in place. He rose off the bed and stood towering over Katherine. "I've got some stuff to do, but I guess I'll see you this evening then?" he said quietly. "We can go for a drink or something." He briefly reached out and traced the air around her cheek. Then without another word he turned and left the room, leaving Katherine alone with her thoughts.

24


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Katherine paused in the corridor outside the room. Quietly observing that no one was about, she knocked on the door and walked in as the summons to enter were yelled. She found Rob sitting at his desk, seemingly in the middle of writing an essay.

"Fancy some distraction?" she asked, perching against the radiator, and unzipping her coat, trying to channel some heat into her body. The day outside was cold and grey with a threatening sky that promised rain.

"Always," Rob faced her and smiled. "What can I do for you?"

"Would you like to go for a walk?" His face fell at her suggestion and he turned to stare pointedly at the unappealing weather through the window.

"With a bit of sunbathing thrown in perhaps?" he suggested.

"No you goon," Katherine laughed. "I just want to talk to you, well, need some advice really and you know…" she trailed off.

"But why this desire for fresh air? We could just talk in here, or go to the pub."

"Ugh, no thanks, I don't think my liver could handle anymore alcohol. I've rather overdone it with Eric the past week. He always wants to go out."

"And you don't want to bump into him?" Rob suggested, standing up. "You want to talk to me about Eric don't you?"

"Well, yeah," Katherine admitted with a hesitant smile. "Rob, I'm confused and you probably know him the best out of anyone here, which is not saying much I realise. I just thought we could compare notes that's all."

"You are lucky that I am so in touch with my feminine side," her friend answered gruffly, picking up his jacket and keys. "Would you like me to check that the coast is clear?" The hint of sarcasm in his voice did not go unnoticed by Katherine, but knowing that she was on safe ground with her friend she simply smiled at him.

"Come on," she opened the door and paused for a moment, feeling a rush of trepidation as she heard the sound of some students approaching down the corridor. With a shake of her head, she stood aside to let them pass, realising that Eric did not make such a racket as he moved.

It did not take them long to leave the grounds behind and wander down to the riverbank. It was an unappealing sight, the water swollen with winter rain and brown in colour, echoing the damp muddy grass. Rob walked, shoulders hunched against the cold, looking at his friend. "So what is so important about Eric that it mitigates leaving a vaguely warm building to walk in the freezing cold?"

"I don't know," Katherine began with a sigh. "I'm just really confused Rob and I need a sounding board." Her friend remained silent, waiting for her to elaborate, realising that she was struggling for words. "I've seen it you know," she finally said, by way of introduction. "His face I mean. I've seen it. Have you?"

Rob let out a snort of laughter. "What do you think, he charges for private viewings or something?" He paused, "well sort of, not properly. I just walked in on him one day and he had his mask off, but clapped it on pretty quickly."

"And what do you think?"

"Can't really say," Rob answered non-committally, but a glance at Katherine made him realise that this was not an adequate answer. "Well from the little I saw, I didn't think it was that bad."

"No, it isn't that bad," Katherine answered quietly. "But his reaction is. I mean it was wrong of me I suppose, but I pulled it off."

"You did what?" Rob sounded shocked.

"Last week, when we were both so hungover, I walked into his room and I pulled his mask off. I wasn't really sure what I was doing, but we had this really great evening together and talked and talked for ages and then kissed and I felt so positive about everything. But then I thought, he isn't going to show me his face and I will never get to know him fully unless I see it and so I removed it."

"I'm surprised he didn't hurt you." Rob commented with an intake of breath at the thought. "I saw a couple of guys try to take it off, first week here. They were drunk and being stupid and they grabbed him and tried to pull the mask off. He's one bloody strong guy I tell you. Punched them, split one chap's lip and broke the other's thumb. Winded them both."

"And you stood there watching?"

"Well there wasn't much for me to do really; he seemed to be handling the situation okay. I just went into his room and checked on him afterwards and that is when I saw him with his mask off."

"And he was polite to you about it?" Katherine asked, amazed to hear about this new side to Eric.

"No, I think he said something like 'stay out my fucking way, I don't need your help' or words to that effect. So I invited him out for a drink instead." Rob's down to earth tone made Katherine smile, it was so understated, yet his words truly reflected the situation.

They wandered along in continued silence, the breeze stinging their faces and blowing Katherine's hair in a fan around her head. "He is amazing," she finally offered, continuing the conversation. "I mean really amazing, he can do so many things, but at the same time has this childlike innocence about him. I don't understand Rob; I don't understand why he hides his face. I've seen people with much worse features and illnesses and they don't go around wearing masks. Yet, when I tried to take it off, I felt as if I was trying to tame a wild animal!" She laughed rather harshly. "That is what it is like you know; he is exactly like a wild animal. You think you have them secure and eating out of your hand and they suddenly turn and strike out at you. Remember that cat that Dad bought back from the surgery, the one I adopted?"

"Oh, you mean Tigger," Rob confirmed.

"Yes and do you remember how I claimed he hadn't been loved and if I loved him enough he would love me back? And how I use to feed him treats and sometimes he would take them, but if I approached him the wrong way he would just lash out and scratch me? I guess he felt threatened. Anyway…" she paused and shook her head. "Is Eric just another stray that I'm trying to adopt?"

Rob snorted at the thought. "Well, I don't see him curled up sleeping on the end of your bed."

"Not yet," Katherine agreed.

"Not yet?" Rob echoed, with disbelief. "Katie, this _is_ a man we're talking about, not another of your Father's rescue projects."

"But he needs rescuing," Katherine interjected sadly, wiping the hair out of her mouth.

"How can you tell?"

"I've seen his face twice," Katherine admitted. "The first time I pulled the mask off, the second, well I took it off with his permission, but I could tell that it was difficult for him. It is almost as if he is a different person with it off you know." She turned and looked at her friend, seeking reassurance. "Have you ever noticed how Eric exudes, a sort of; well, power - I don't know if that's the right word or not. But when he has the mask on, when you see him around campus he is in control, you see what he wants you to see. But when you take the mask off he is like a little child, lost and scared and pleading."

"Do you think that's why he reacts so badly if anyone tries to remove it?" Rob asked, thinking of the situation he had witnessed.

"I think it might," Katherine agreed. "If you say we started seeing each other last Monday, then in a week and a half he has not chosen to remove his mask in front of me; once."

"What does he do when he goes to sleep?" Rob asked curiously.

"I don't know, we haven't got that far." Katherine's mouth twisted into a wry smile. "Anyway, I've been out with Eric every single night and yet we have never been alone together since that first day. We always go to the pub, or the bar, even though I don't think he always enjoys it. And I seriously think it is due to the fact that he doesn't want to remove his mask and face up to what is behind it. Do you agree?"

"Oh to be a fly on the wall."

"Rob, I'm serious here," she elbowed her friend in the ribs. "So come on; tell me what you know about Eric, for I'm really on the edge of doing something serious."

"More serious then walking in and ripping his mask off?" Rob deadpanned.

"I wasn't really thinking," Katherine admitted. "It was more instinct and that nearly went very wrong. He was so angry."

"You should me careful Katie, that is a hell of a temper he has you know."

"Oh Eric would never hurt me," Katherine scoffed at the warning.

"I'm serious here. I doubt he would ever hurt you, not intentionally at least, but at the same time, his lose of temper tends to go with a loss of rationality. Like you say, I'm his friend but there are times he can barely say a civil word to me."

"So you agree with me that there are different sides to him? There is so much I don't know about him and he won't tell me, won't open up." Her frustration was evident in her voice and she fell silent for a moment. "So tell me Rob, what _do_ you know, for he must have told you _something_?"

"He has mentioned some stuff, but it's very little. Best friend status doesn't mean much to him. I hate to think how he treats his enemies, put it that way. Please don't get your hopes up."

"I promise I won't," Katherine agreed. They paused in their strolling, as they came to a small footbridge crossing the river. Climbing up onto the wooden planks they rested in the middle, gazing out onto the sluggishly flowing water beneath them.

"He wasn't burnt," Rob started. "I know that's the popular rumour around campus, but he was not trapped in a burning car or a burning building or anything of the kind. He was born with facial deformities. It is something like congenital haemangioma. I think that's what he called it. Anyway, apparently his mother can't stand the sight of him and has made him wear that mask since birth. She won't look at him without it. Weird I know, but I guess that's why you notice these two sides to his personality. He has grown up hiding his face."

"How can someone be so cruel?" Katherine whispered. "How can someone hate their own child so much that they can't even look at them?"

"That's the bit I don't know," Rob said. "It is obviously very complex, but he didn't go into any detail." Katherine just shook her head slowly, her eyes never leaving the water. Rob peered at her in worry and saw that they were full of tears. "Don't pity him Katie," he said placing a reassuring hand on her back. "He doesn't want or need your pity."

"That's what Eric said to me," Katherine said sniffing hard and wiping her nose with the back of her hand. "And I don't pity him, but I still can't understand how a mother can treat her child like that."

"Are you scared of spiders?"

"Am I scared of, what?" Katherine asked, straightening and frowning at her friend's strange question.

"Spiders, are you scared of them?"

"Well, no," confusion echoed in her voice. "I mean I doubt I would like to keep them as pets and I probably wouldn't be too happy if one ran across me, but I don't think so."

"So you're not one of these girls who stands on a chair and screams when she sees a little spider crossing the floor?

"Rob, you have known me almost all my life. Have you ever seen me stand on a chair and scream at anything?"

"Yes, when I tried to make you hold that night crawler." Rob chuckled.

"But spiders, no."

"I still don't see what this has to do with anything," Katherine commented crossly. "We were talking about Eric and you switch the subject to spiders."

"Eric once said that he saw himself as a spider. That people could not see past the ugliness. Spiders are in fact very useful creatures with their own form of beauty. I think that is what he said. And if people hate spiders then the same principles apply to him, for he is ugly to look at."

"Interesting theory," she frowned. "Slightly melodramatic but interesting."

"Yeah, well your _boyfriend_ is all about melodrama, I've never met anyone with such good timing when it comes to having an audience. Spends far too much time listening to opera I think."

"Instead of your delightful choices of music?" Katherine questioned cheekily. Rob answered her with a smile.

"Come on, let's head back, I can't feel my toes anymore." They turned and cut back across the meadows to their halls.

"He was shocked when I said that I had never been to an opera," Katherine mused, as they trudged their way back. "Said that I'd never really understand true love and passion until I understood opera." She laughed. "Never had the time for it myself, although I do like that one with the song dum de de da de dum, da de de da de dum, the one they used in Pretty Woman. What's it called?"

"La Traviata," Rob said solemnly as they walked back to his room. Katherine raised her eyebrows at him. "My sister made me watch it during the holidays, that's how I know," he defended himself against her unasked question. "However, if I were you, I would read up on it, or listen to the CD. Just a thought." They paused outside the two doors.

"Well, I'll just see if he's in" Katherine said, giving her friend a hesitant smile. On impulse she turned round and hugged him. "Thank you," she whispered as he went into his room.

She knocked on Eric's door and waited. Hearing no reply she tried the handle, but the door was locked, he was clearly out. Not sure if she was relieved or not, she went upstairs to her room, her head full of the conversation she had just had, musing over all she had learnt. Pulling her keys out of her pocket she put them in the lock and tried turning, but they refused. With a frown she turned the handle and pushed the door open. It moved with ease, obviously unlocked, allowing her entry.

"Oh, what are you doing here?" The words fell from her lips in surprise as she walked in, for Eric was sitting at her desk, innocently reading her maths assignment.

"You've messed this lot up completely," he returned in greeting.

"How did you get in?" Katherine queried, shrugging off her coat, still surprised to see him in her room.

"You left the door open, so I thought you couldn't have gone far and decided to come in and wait for you." His voice was calm as he turned and looked at her. Katherine let her gaze drop to her hand, in which she still clutched her bunch of keys, rolling their weight between her fingers. She could have sworn that she had locked her room as she had left. Looking up, she realised that Eric was watching her intently, as if reading her thoughts, his eyes dark shadows in the mask. "Actually I picked the lock," he admitted, as if it was of no coincidence.

"Eric!"

"Well, it was very easy. A child of five could have done it." He turned back to her work and changed the subject. "You know you've used totally the wrong formula in this whole question." Katherine went and looked over his shoulder at the paper, where he was busy scoring lines through her equations and doodling on the edge of the pad. The margin was filled with small drawings, an eye gazing back from the page, the rough sketch of a cat, and the outline of a woman's body.

"Thank you for defacing my work," Katherine said tetchily, annoyed at his assumptions. Despite her conversation with Rob, she was cross with his behaviour. Eric noticed her tone of voice and glanced at her, his eyes filled with a wariness that she had never seen before.

"I'm sorry," his voice was quiet and full of a pleading apology. "I didn't mean to." His words stopped Katherine in her tracks, for they were touched with a note of childlike fear, suggesting that he was expecting reprimand, making her anger vanish.

"Don't worry," she placed a reassuring hand on his back, worried at his reaction to her show of anger. "It was looking scruffy anyway". She paused and watched as he effortlessly corrected another answer, realising that there was so much more to him then he let on. She turned away, trying to find a way of approaching the situation. "Do you feel like doing anything tonight?" she asked, waiting for his suggestion. "Eric?" she questioned, spinning around when he did not answer.

"Hmm, what did you say?" he murmured as if had not heard her. Katherine looked closely at the back of his head, noticing that his ears were pink.

"You heard what I said" she replied, trusting her instinct that he was avoiding the inevitable. "What do you want to do tonight? I am rather tired and will have to get up early to recopy my work, so I was going to have an early, lazy evening. Do you want to join me?"

"And do what?" he turned in the chair and folded his arms, leaning back as if waiting for her ideas.

"I don't know, get a movie out," Katherine suggested. "Get in some munchies, watch a video, just chill. Life doesn't have to be on continual party, especially on a Wednesday evening." She watched as Eric clenched his jaw, obviously mulling the idea over in his mind. Yet his gaze remained bland and his body relaxed, to the outside observer he seemed totally calm.

"Okay" he agreed. "Shall we go choose a film? I think it is going to rain by the way." Getting use to his lightening changes in the topic of conversation, she simply gathered her coat.

"Come on then" she said by way of agreement. You can help choose as long as it does not contain unnecessary gratuitous violence or sex."

"Totally uncalled for in most cases anyway," Eric agreed as they left.

Half an hour later saw them back in the room, watching the latest big blockbuster release. "Crap," Eric said for what struck Katherine as the fourteenth time. She sighed, realising that he obviously didn't like such movies. He picked the plot line to pieces, pointed out all the mistakes and criticised most of the acting. She was actually glad to reach the end of the movie, as she had had enough of listening to Eric's comments for most of the film.

"You are impossible," she turned the video off and settled back on the bed, where they sat side by side, with their backs against the wall. "I'm not saying that it's the finest acting in the world, but it is entertainment."

"With unnecessary explosions, bad dialogue and a plot line that crumbles under interrogation," Eric filled in. "Having not been bought up on a diet of television, I'm more aware of inferior programming. Much better forms of entertainment around."

"So what did you do if you weren't allowed to watch television?" Katherine asked coyly, realising that he had just handed her an opening. "I mean how did you fill the holidays, what did you do with yourself?"

"Not just the holidays," Eric snapped. Katherine realised that the conversation was about to end, as it always had so far when she has tried to bring up the subject of his past. She knelt back on the bed, moving away from him but never letting her gaze leave his face, waiting for him to say more.

Eric sighed, realising that she wanted to know the reasoning behind his outburst. Leaning his head back against the wall he swallowed hard, his emotions torn in half. The habit of hiding everything about his life against the pull of trusting this woman that he was falling in love with. The past week and a half with her had been wonderful; he enjoyed having someone to talk to, to be with. Having someone who put herself out for him and cared after his feelings. But he also realised that in return he had to share himself and his emotions with her.

Before he was even aware of consciously making a decision he had shuffled off the bed and stood up, his instinct urging him to run back to his room and hide, before she could demand any more explanations, any more soul searching.

"Eric." Her voice was gentle and unthreatening. It stopped him in his tracks and made him turn. He stared at her realising that if he left the room then the relationship would go no further. All his dreams and fantasies about finding the most special woman would crumble into dust, for he could not meet her even a quarter of the way.

He stood still for a moment, debating the results of what might happen and realised that he had to trust her. Without that move on his behalf he would never achieve what he dreamt of. With another sigh that came straight from the heart he reached up and untied the strings to his mask. Hesitantly he placed it on the bed next to her, as if it were an offering and sat down again, his eyes never leaving Katherine's face.

"What do you want to know?" he said gruffly, his voice having lost all its usual resonance and power.

"Everything," Katherine stated.

"Everything about the whole world?" Eric's sense of humour surfaced through his distress.

"Everything about you," Katherine confirmed, wriggling over to him, so that their legs were touching. "From the beginning. I want to know the real Eric, not the campus rumour."

"Campus rumour. I didn't realise that I was popular enough to have rumours about me."

"Trapped in a burning car, all that."

"No, I guess that I haven't been paying enough attention to gossip." He laughed softly. "Do you mind if I smoke?" Digging into his pocket he pulled out a small tin, obviously not containing cigarettes. "It helps me relax." Katherine nodded in agreement and Eric rolled a joint with ease, lighting it and inhaling deeply before leaning back against the wall and blowing the scented smoke out into the room." You know that my last name is Reighland?" he questioned, passing her the joint.

"Yeah," Katherine said, taking a drag. "Yes, you told me the other evening, your family were originally from," she paused trying to remember what he had said, "Somewhere in Germany, wasn't that it?"

"A _very_ long time ago, almost two centuries, but yes. Hence being lumbered with such an old fashioned first name as well."

"It could have been worse," Katherine laughed slightly.

"True. Anyway, have you heard of the store Empire? In London?"

"Yeah, the one on Oxford Street," she confirmed, frowning at the change in subject. "And they have another in Birmingham and one in Edinburgh."

"Mmmm that's right. Well the stores, actually the whole company, belong to my family. My mother's family."

"You're the family behind Empire? Katherine could not hide the amazement in her voice.

"Behind the whole of the Reighland Group which owns them," Eric confirmed, plucking the cigarette from her hand and inhaling again. "My grandfather is CEO and chairman of the board, my mother the only child of the family and I, in turn her only child."

"And your father?" Katherine saw him flinch as she asked the question.

"My father is dead," he said tonelessly. "He died the day I was born."

"I'm sorry," her voice was quiet as she realised that the telling of the story would be an emotional roller coaster for the both of them. He inhaled again, holding the smoke in his mouth, and breathing in through his nose, seeking the freedom that it bought. He exhaled with a small but bitter laugh.

"Yeah, so am I, my life might have been very different if he had been alive."

"Why?" Katherine asked, wriggling around, so her head was leaning against his legs and she was gazing up at him.

"The stores were started by my great-great grandfather in the middle of last century," he explained. "So fast-forward about one hundred and twenty years and my grandparents are very wealthy, very influential people with an only child, my mother." He paused realising the bitterness that tinged his words and looked down at Katherine. He gently ran his hand over her hair, stroking its softness, savouring the sensation. "As you can imagine," he continued, "she was very spoilt and indulged. Never had to do a days work in her life, her only duty was to marry well. Marry someone that would have the knowledge and social standing to run the company when my grandfather decided to retire."

"So who was your Father?"

"Well, that's the thing. My mother met my father at a Christmas staff party. He had just started to work at the store as a junior-executive. She was twenty; he was twenty-two, fresh out of university, alone in the world as both his parents were dead. It is a story of true love, apparently they could not bear to be apart and everything that my Grandfather did to make them split up just drove them closer together, to the point that my mother was ready to renounce her inheritance and the family name. My grandfather realised that he couldn't win, and decided to go along with my mother's wishes, as he had always given in to her. They realised that my Father was actually very clever and had the ability to take over the company, so with the nepotism that comes with a family owned business he was promoted and was being groomed to run it.

"Everyone says that my parents were the perfect couple, - my father was the only one who was able to put up with my mother's spoilt behaviour and control her whims." He paused and put the joint to Katherine's lips so that she could smoke the drug before leaning forward and chasing the smoke with a kiss, inhaling it back from her.

"Where was I," he continued, mellowed by the drug's potency. "Yeah, well for my parents first anniversary they went on holiday to Africa and she fell seriously ill, not realising that she was pregnant with me, got rushed into hospital where they treated her for what they thought was malaria, although it wasn't. They never knew if it was the disease, the drugs or just some rogue gene that did what it did to my face."

Katherine opened her mouth, questions tumbling from her lips, but closed it again, realising that it was unwise to interrupt at the stage they had reached. What he was telling her was so unique and quite unlike anything she had heard round campus.

"On the night I was born," Eric continued, "the weather was awful. I mean November isn't known for being clement. My father, in his rush to get to the hospital was involved in a five-car pile up on the motorway, trying to get back down to Kent, where they lived. He died instantly. Apparently all throughout her labour my mother kept calling for him, asking where he was and they wouldn't tell her, for they thought she would give up trying!

"Anyway, I was finally born by Caesarean, with a horrific face and my mother woke up to find her child deformed and her husband dead." Eric's voice was harsh and toneless as he detached himself from the situation, in an attempt to explain. "Well, she flipped out, although my grandparents, not wanting it to be general knowledge that they had a freak for a grandson had us discharged and sent back to my parents house, where they made her take care of me otherwise she would have rejected me completely.

"They didn't want to hire a nurse for they were worried about gossip and they paid off the hospital staff in order to buy their silence. The only way my mother would look at me is if I wore the mask, and she didn't look at me that often. It was the first thing I remember wearing." He paused as the memories overwhelmed him, searching for the joint in an attempt to shield himself against the emotions that threatened to rise to the surface. His fingers closed around the burnt out stub and he gazed at it in stoned horror. "Bugger," he swore, dropping the butt in an empty glass.

"It's okay," Katherine spoke softly and reaching up gently ran the back of her hand down the side of his face, touching his face for the first time.

His skin was very smooth and fine, with the bumps of thread scars, running under the skin. She moved her hands to his other cheek and touched the raised weld. Moving his head, Eric let her hand come to rest on his mouth, realising that he was stoned as he grabbed one of her fingers with his teeth, holding it gently in his mouth and sucking on it. Katherine let out a low laugh, aware, that like her boyfriend she was not sober.

"She never touched me, you know," he whispered, dropping her hand. "She went out of her way to not touch me. She stopped helping me to get dressed when I was three; she never hugged me or kissed me. Do you know what it's like to be starved of the sense of touch?" He placed his long lean fingered hand against Katherine's, palm to palm, wrapping his fingers over hers and squeezing tightly, trying to make her understand.

"So how come you are here? How did you have an education? Do you see your grandparents?" The questions tumbled from Katherine's lips.

"My grandparents saw me for the first six years of my life," Eric nodded, recalling his youth. "When I was little they would come every Friday. They would greet Momma in the hall. She lives in an old farmhouse, so it is very open and I used to hide upstairs and look through the banisters. My grandfather always used to look up and wink at me as he came in. Then Momma would call me down and we would all go into the living room.

'Have you been a good boy?' he would ask me and I would reply 'Yes Sir' and then Momma would interrupt and say how bad I had been, not making my bed, not getting dressed properly, not finishing my food. There were hundreds of little things, even though I was very young at the time. So my grandfather would say 'that's a shame' and ask me what I had done that was good, at which point I would reply with a list of all that I felt showed me in a good light and he would tell me that I deserved a reward. He would give me drawing paper, pens and pencils, sweets, comics all sort of things. Yet, he never saw me without the mask on, but I was convinced that he was so kind that he wouldn't mind.

So one day when I was called down, I removed my mask and went into the living room. My grandfather went as white as a sheet, but he still asked me if I had been a good boy. Unfortunately my mother didn't react quite so well. She totally lost her self-control, starting hitting me in front of my grandparents, before locking me in my room. That was the last I ever saw of them."

"How did you survive a life like that?" Katherine whispered, dropping a kiss into the palm of the hand before her. "You must have been very brave."

"Not brave no," he shook his head. "Foolish maybe, twisted; probably, scared; definitely. But not brave." A snort of laughter escaped his lips. "I don't think I would have survived if it hadn't been for Anne-Marie. She was my mother's best friend."

"Was?"

"Well is I suppose. They went to school together and were apparently inseparable. Chalk and Cheese in personalities, but that is why friendships sometimes work so well I guess." He lifted his shoulders in a graceful shrug. "Anyway, from the very first Anne-Marie was my guardian-angel, she looked after me, protected me from the worst of my mothers excessive outbursts. She cared about me and was the one who discovered that I found things easy, had talents if you wish to call them that. She arranged for me to have a tutor, a friend of hers called Dave. He opened up a whole world to me through books, music, and art. You must understand that I never saw a television until I was ten, my mother wouldn't let me watch it." His voice rose a pitch as he grappled with the emotions of his past. "I spent a lot of time locked in my room and it gives you great scope for broadening your mind. I was never allowed to leave the confines of the house and the gardens unless I was going to the specialist. When I had operations on my face I was in a private room. From about the age of seven, I always seemed to either be waiting for an operation or recovering from one."

"Didn't the social services do anything, if you mother mistreated you so? How did your Grandparents get away with it?"

"I wasn't mistreated," Eric explained slowly. "My mother was very ill. A breakdown coupled with some serious post-natal depression. We just don't like each other and it's very hard to live together when that is the case. But I had a roof over my head, food to eat, and clothes to wear. And if my childhood was harsh and disciplined, then how different to many other children does that make me?" He felt Katherine tense across his knee and realised that he needed to explain further. "But yes, I hated my childhood and I hate my mother. I try to accept the situation, but it is not easy," he swallowed hard, the emotion trembling through his body. "Anyway when I was fourteen I realised that I couldn't take it anymore, so I ran away - nicked some money from my mother's purse, picked the lock on my door - yes it's a talent I honed from an early age…" He looked down at Katherine and saw the trace of a smile on her lips. "I caught a train to Anne-Marie's house. It was the scariest thing I had ever done, people kept staring at me and I got totally lost, finally reached her house about midnight. She opened the door and found me there, took me in. She and my grandparents agreed that it was best that I stayed with her, well she persuaded them it was, that my mother was really not well enough to look after me.

"That - I think, was when my life really started. Anne-Marie treated me like any normal fourteen-year-old boy. For the first time in my life I was allowed to do things that other people take for granted. I received my first allowance; I got my first grounding because I actually broke a reasonable rule. Dave continued to educate me and we were able to go to museums, galleries, plays, and the opera. Things that I had only dreamt of. I've crammed fourteen years of life into the past five years, but I was in the strange position of knowing an awful lot but at the same time, very little.

"What do you mean?" Katherine interrupted, pushing herself into a sitting position.

"Well" Eric said slowly trying to think of an example. "How do you use a cash machine?"

"Easy" She opened her mouth to give a detailed explanation.

"I know how to work one Kat," he said with humour. "But the thing is I didn't know for a long time. I didn't know how to buy a ticket for a train, how to pay for anything, order a meal in a restaurant. All those sort of things that you take for granted as you learnt them through life; I had to learn since I went to live with Anne-Marie." He picked up the mask and looked at it. "The bitter irony is that at the end of the day, if I didn't wear the mask I would have to put up with a lot more then curiosity."

"What exactly is wrong with your skin?" she asked hoping to get more of a detailed description then the one that Rob offered her.

"They are Haemangioma," Eric explained. "No one knows what causes them. I am just unlikely enough to be one of the small percentage that have them when they are born, have more then one and have them as permanent features. Usually they fade and go away as you grow; but most of mine didn't and so I've been gradually having them removed since I was seven years old. This is the last one," he lightly touched his cheek. "Pressure sometimes helps with scaring and the like, so my Mother used it as yet another excuse for me to wear the mask."

"Have you tried not wearing it?" Katherine suggested bravely, hoping that he would not react badly to the suggestion.

"Tried not wearing it? You think it is some piece of clothing that I take a fancy to when I get up in the morning?" Eric spat out, stunned by her audacity and scared to face the question.

"I didn't mean it like that."

"I know you didn't," he sighed and hung his head in shame. "I am sorry, I have a truly awful temper, no control whatsoever. I get it from my mother. But Katherine, please try and understand, I am naked without this," his hand tightened on the leather. "I tried once, when I first went to Anne-Marie's. I got as far as the end of the road. I prefer curiosity to disgust and indifference to pity."

"I don't care what you look like," Katherine said quietly, rising to her knees and holding his face in her hands. "I care if you're happy or not, but I don't care what you look like."

"Honestly?" His voice was shaky as it dawned on him how much faith she had in him and how gigantic the leap was that she was persuading him to make.

"Honestly. You can wear the mask if you need to, but between us there are no secrets and no lies. Take it off for me because I want to look at your face, but I promise I will only ask you to do it when we are alone. Do you think you could agree?"

"Yes," his voice was barely a shaky whisper and he closed his eyes, seeking her hand with his and grasping it. He raised it to his lips and planted a kiss in the palm. "I promise I'll try."

"Good," she whispered back, as if their promises were too serious to be spoken loudly. She put her mouth to his and kissed him on the lips, the tip of his nose and his forehead, before letting him go. "Good," she said again quietly.

"Kat," he murmured, opening his eyes and seeking contact with hers. "I think I love you."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

"You are going out with that chap who wears the mask?" Lucy questioned as she bent towards the mirror, carefully applying lipstick to her mouth. She looked at Katherine's reflection, assessing her friend's appearance as she sat on the bed.

"Eric," Katherine filled in helpfully. "His name is Eric and yes he is the _chap who wears the mask_."

"Okay, okay calm down, no need to sound so accusatory. Anyway I think it's all rather sexy."

"Sexy?" Katherine exclaimed, surprised at Lucy's description. "You think Eric is sexy or the fact that he wears a mask is sexy?"

"Well both," Lucy pouted at her reflection and adjusted her top. "Do you think I look okay?" She turned round, with a flourish so that Katherine could not help but stare at her friend whose admirable cleavage was pouring out of a small v-neck sweater.

"Very nice," she said weakly, aware of Lucy's intentions.

"But do you think he will like it?" Lucy adjusted the under-wires of the bra beneath.

"I'm sure Jack will be lost for words," Katherine said as sincerely as she could, plastering a smile on her face.

"Not Jack, John. Jack is so long gone! The shitbag. I bought it especially." Katherine gave a small sigh, knowing that she was unable to keep up with her friend's rampant sex life. Looking at Lucy's long blonde bob, large chest and small waist she gave a sigh and gazed in the mirror.

"I look so boring," she commented, noting her jeans and top. "I wish I had your boobs Luce."

"For Eric," her friend filled in coyly. "Is he into cleavage then?" An image of her boyfriend swam into Katherine's mind; the way he looked at her and admired her was like the way most people admired works of art. He appreciated beauty in an ethereal form.

"No, not really," she shook her head. "But _do_ you have anything I could wear?"

"Hmm -" Lucy started to sort through the pile of discarded clothes on the chair. "I have my blue halter neck, or my silver top." she held up the options, pressing them on Katherine.

"I'm not sure they're really me - do you think they will look okay?" Katherine questioned, frowning at the choices for they were so unlike tops that she would normally choose.

"Trust me on this one Kath, the halter neck will look stunning." She encouraged Katherine to change into the top and stood back to admire her handiwork. "See I told you it would look great. You look fabulous!" Katherine looked at her reflection and had to admit that the top was incredibly flattering, highlighting her trim figure.

"Thanks," she smiled. "What's the time, hadn't we better get going?"

"Nine," Lucy glanced at her clock. "Are we meeting everyone there?"

"Yes, well definitely Eric, Chris and Caroline, Jenny and possibly Rob, you never know, maybe some of the others, not sure."

"Ah, so I get to meet Mr Boyfriend then?" Lucy quizzed, gathering her bag and coat and pushing her friend out of the room.

"You haven't met Eric?" Katherine was shocked with the comment. Surely she had introduced him to a few of her friends.

"No one has Kath," Lucy reminded her impatiently. "That's why we're all so eager to be meet him tonight."

Their breath froze into sheets in the cool February air and they hugged their coats around them as they made their way into the pub by the river. Katherine spied Rob who had commandeered a group of tables in a darkened corner of the room. He was sitting there, his arm around his girlfriend Jenny, yet ignoring her and avidly talking to Eric who was in the chair opposite him.

"Katie, Luce," Rob called, catching sight of them. "Over here," he waved his free arm as a signal as the girls wound their way through the groups of chairs and tables, squeezing between the other people drinking in the pub. As Katherine walked up behind Eric he reached out and grabbed her hand, raising it to his lips and kissing it, without breaking his conversation.

"Hello," he said, his voice pitched at a private tone that rang in her ears.

"Eric this is Lucy, Lucy, Eric." The introductions made, she sat down, gauging Eric's reaction to see if it was like that of every other man when they first met her companion. His gaze glanced over Lucy, travelling from the waist up, pausing at the neck of her top and finally reaching her face. Katherine hastily revised her opinion on Eric's idea of beauty.

"Hi Eric, nice to meet you finally," Lucy said bending over the table to shake his hand and dramatically showing off her cleavage. "We began to think you had spirited Katherine away we hadn't seen her for so long."

"That's not true, you just never bother coming to see me," Katherine contradicted crossly, aware of Eric's sensitivity and annoyed at her friends teasing. "We've both been around for the past three weeks! Just because you are not in the same halls as us, doesn't mean you can't visit!" She felt her back tense, ready to defend Eric's actions to her insensitive friend.

"Kat calm down," Eric's voice floated down as a gentle whisper in her ear and he placed a hand on her back, massaging her tight spine, trying to ease some of the tension out of it. Katherine relaxed back into the chair and smiled as she felt his calming touch.

"Thanks," she glanced around the table. "You've been introduced to everyone here then?"

"We've met before," Eric commented casually with a wave of his hand. "In the bar and JCR and stuff." Katherine frowned, amazed and confused at how relaxed he seemed to be, for she had thought that this would have been a difficult situation for him. With a glance she realised that despite the dimness of the corner of the pub in which they sat, his pupils were dilated. He was obviously somewhat stoned.

"Have you been smoking?" she hissed in his ear.

He turned to her, his mouth breaking into a wide smile beneath the mask and he nodded. "Takes the edge off things, makes it easier." Katherine rolled her eyes at his explanation, realising her plans for afterwards had just taken a nosedive, but a part of her could understand why he chose to. Whilst she did not always enjoy smoking hash, she realised that it took the edge off Eric's aggression and sensitivity, a good move if the evening was to be successful.

Two weeks had passed since Eric had opened up to her and they had agreed to their pact. Katherine had deliberately avoided being with her friends, aware of her new boyfriend's unease amongst large groups of people. Yet, she also realised that she could not remain isolated with him forever. It had been Rob's suggestion that they all met at the pub tonight, the idea being that in a relaxed environment, with only the closest of the group around, he would feel more secure. It seemed to be a good idea so far.

She watched Lucy flirting with Eric and smiled. For once she was not getting her usual reaction, for although he politely responded to her questions, he didn't seem to react in any other way, his attention focused on the conversation between himself, Rob and Chris, seemingly oblivious to the efforts her friend was expanding. "I'll get the drinks in then," she commented, noting the empty glasses on the table and wanting to distract Lucy from her usual course of action. "Help me Luce?"

"Sure," Lucy stood up and squeezed past Rob and Chris who blocked her exit, making sure her legs rubbed against theirs and giggling as she did. Katherine rolled her eyes, wondering if her friend could ever do anything without making it overtly sexual.

"So," she quizzed excitedly, as they stood at the bar, waiting to be served. "What do you think of Eric?"

"Ooh, he's really sexy but quite sweet at the same time," Lucy commented, with a wicked smile. "Have you seen the size of his hands? You know what they say about big hands and feet!" She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. "Very mysterious of course, makes it all the more attractive."

"Hands off Luce," Katherine said hoping that her tone of voice was light enough for it to be taken as a joke and not the warning it truly was. "What about John?"

"Still more gorgeous then your man any day," Lucy flashed a smile. "So have you two had sex yet?"

Katherine felt herself blushing like a schoolgirl at the idea, caught out by Lucy's basic way of speaking. "Um, well," she dropped her voice to a confidential tone so that Lucy had to strain to hear it above the noise of the pub. "I was thinking tonight is the night."

"Made for loving, eh?"

"Although he's stoned," Katherine added her frustration evident in her voice.

"Eugh. All banging and no turnover of the engine." Lucy giggled again.

"Exactly," they both starting laughing at the euphemism and gathering the drinks went back to the table.

Katherine sat quietly, wishing to observe the dynamics of the group and her boyfriend's participation within it. If Eric was aware that she did this, he gave no sign and seemed relaxed in everyone's presence. He had obviously smoked enough dope to lose the usual anger and fear that gripped him when he suspected that people were reacting negatively to his appearance.

She glanced over at Chris and Caroline with a smile. The perfect couple; as they were known to everyone, who had met in the first few weeks of their university lives and were now joined at the hip, doing everything together. Even now they held hands, although Caroline was deeply involved in a discussion with Lucy and Chris was participating in the argument that was brewing between Rob and Eric about the quality of the computers owned by the students.

Katherine could also not avoid Jenny's frown as she sat next to Rob, restrained by his hand placed possessively on her knee, but otherwise not included in the debate. She seemed uncomfortable in Eric's presence for she kept glancing at the mask, her forehead creased in anxiety. Katherine was sure that Rob, in his usual laidback style, had not bothered to properly introduce her.

"Hey Jenny come and sit here," Katherine patted the empty seat next to her. "Come and be introduced to Eric". She poked Eric in his side, making him jump.

"Hey!"

"Stop being so rude and come and talk to someone else," she laughed. "I don't think you've met Jenny properly."

"Hi," Jenny reluctantly proffered her hand and Eric took it, the naughty grin peeping out from under the mask not lost on Katherine.

"Jenny," his voice was softly caressing and seductive, wrapping around the listener and dragging them upwards. "I thought we had met down at the Union the other night."

"Um, no, I wasn't there," she said rather breathlessly, her Australian accent coming to the fore as she gazed at his eyes. "Had things to do."

"Well, I am sure that I've seen you around," he continued. "I don't think I would forget someone like you." With a smile and a simple gesture of his hand, curling his long fingers towards his palm, he indicated her pre-Raphaelite red curls and clear skin. Jenny seemed in a trance as she nodded accordingly and Katherine watched, sipping her drink and listening to the conversation between the two. She could tell that Jenny was awed by Eric's presence as he talked to her, for her gaze was no longer towards his face, but held a look of stunned silence, hypnotised by the seductive tones of Katherine's boyfriend. She sighed slightly to herself; painfully aware that with Lucy and now Jenny hanging on Eric's every word, all her friends were developing crushes on him. It was a far cry from their initial reluctance when she announced the relationship.

She tried to turn her attention towards the other talk that was being bandied around, but everyone was too deeply involved to notice her drifting between conversations. Transferring her attention back to Eric and Jenny, with the hope that she might interrupt, she found, to her annoyance that they were still deeply in discussion. Jenny seemed more animated then Katherine had seen her in a very long time and she realised that her friend was now dominating the conversation, Eric intently listening to her. With a twinge of guilt, she realised that she should have been the one her friend used as a sounding board, but quashed it with a wave of anger that demanded to know why her evening was so boring and why she was being ignored by her own partner.

The ringing of the bell to signify last orders made her realise how the evening had vanished and she glanced at Rob. His mouth lifted in a slight smile back at her as if to confirm her thoughts before she turned to look at Eric still deep in conversation. Raising her shoulders in a defeated shrug she interrupted them.

"Shall we go home?" she laid a hand on Eric's shoulder.

"Hmm?" he looked over his shoulder at her, the white of the mask catching in the muted lighting. "Yes of course" he replied, before turning his attention back to Jenny. "We have to go, but we'll talk later. Meet for a coffee tomorrow maybe? How about the Buttery, at eleven?"

"Yes of course, that would be lovely," Jenny, replied with such enthusiasm that Katherine's eyebrows lowered in displeasure, unsure of what they had been discussing. However, he put his arm possessively around Katherine's shoulders as he stood up and turned to face the crowd of people.

"Night everyone," he waved to them generally, a smile peeping out from under the mask. Katherine's scowl deepened as he guided her with his hands placed on both her shoulders out the door and into the cool air.

"Are you very drunk?" she asked with a long-suffering sigh, aware that his behaviour seemed out of character. He had been the sole of amiability, friendly and chatty and whilst it was what Katherine had been hoping for, it also left her confused and once again feeling isolated; not truly understanding him or his behaviour.

"No, stone cold sober in fact, starving hungry and in need of a kiss." He bent down mid-stride and claimed his final demand off her. "Why do you ask?"

"You just seemed to be very relaxed back there," Katherine reluctantly voiced her concern, not wanting to condemn him for his behaviour.

"So I must therefore be drunk or stoned?"

"Well, no," Katherine said slowly, her breath exhaling in a misty stream. "But, it goes against character."

"Shit Kat, I am simply taking on board everything that you have been telling me to do." He turned and stood in front of her, his shadow casting menacing figures in the streetlight behind him as he gesticulated wildly, the blood rising in his veins with his annoyance at her questioning. "Sure I had a toke before I came out, but otherwise I was just trying really hard." He sneered the last words, his good mood evaporating.

"But you did something to Jenny!" Katherine persisted doggedly, her eyes narrowing, upset that he was misreading her questioning. "I was watching, you did something to her; - one moment she was all uptight and then she looked as if she would lap up milk."

"She's just unhappy and lonely, Rob is such a tart that she's unsure of herself that's all and she misses her family. Wouldn't you if they lived on the other side of the world and you came to study in another country all alone?" Eric laughed slightly bitterly. "All I did was make her feel safe and secure, comfortable."

"How?" Katherine's voice was hoarse with the cold.

"Simple, just compliment her, tell her that she's a beautiful woman, and that her insecurities are unfounded."

"Like you did with me?" The question came out quietly, causing Eric to stop in the middle of his rant, realising that Katherine was potentially upset.

"No, like you did with me," Eric contradicted with a smile, reaching behind him for her hand, trying to ask for pardon in the gesture. "It's very reassuring sometimes."

"I did see you murmuring in her ear though," Katherine muttered picking up her pace to keep level with him as he dragged her along. "Great, take your boyfriend out to meet your friends and he chats them up."

"Lucy was throwing her boobs in my face, I didn't ask her to," the irritation and displeasure once again showed in Eric's voice, as their temporary truce was breached once more. Reaching their halls of residence she released her hand and stomped up the stairs, annoyed but not truly able to say why, aware that Eric was following her. At his floor he roughly grabbed her by the elbow. "Come on," he said gruffly, aware that she was upset and wanting to talk to her privately.

"I'm tired," but he ignored her protest and continued to his room, opening the door and pushing her in with what she considered to be undue roughness.

"Right," he said dropping her arm and taking a pace away from her, "What the bloody hell is the matter?"

"Nothing."

"Yeah, right sure," he jeered. "So that was nothing back there was it. You ask me to meet your friends, which I do, willingly and then I get an ear bashing all the way home about how I spent all evening with them. One of them is very lonely; the other is a total tart and cannot help trying it on with everything in trousers, and the other is joined at the hip to her man.

"I know that," Katherine's forehead creased. "However, it doesn't help when it's thrust in my face. I mean look," she threw off her coat. "Did you even notice I was wearing this top especially for you? Did you?" her voice rose a pitch.

"Bloody women," Eric retorted. "You say one thing, mean another, then get angry when we try to fulfil your every wish. For bloody fuck's sake" he was nearly shouting. "I can't make you happy can I?"

"Oh calm down," Katherine snapped back. "Stop being so bloody melodramatic. Of course I'm pissed off, just like any woman would be if she'd been ignored all night by her boyfriend, because he was too busy giving all his attention to her friends."

"But.." Eric started, shocked and surprised at her retaliation, unable to formulate his argument, aware that she possibly had a point.

"I don't want to hear any more Eric!" Katherine retorted, picking up her discarded coat and flouncing out through the door, letting it slam behind her. She went up to her room and stripping off the gaudy top, distastefully let it drop it into a heap on the floor, removing the make up from her face and getting into her pyjamas.

She sat down on her bed with a sigh knowing that she had been totally unreasonable with Eric. He did not have the same understanding about relationships as people with more experience. He _had_ tried hard that evening, perhaps a little too hard. She was sure he was almost unaware of the spell that he was able to cast on women and ignorant of their reaction, believing that all people would treat him the same.

Katherine mused over the situation a bit more, aimlessly wandering around her bedroom, unable to relax as her brain churned repeatedly over the situation, picking up a CD before casting it down on the desk, attempting to read her book and passing her eyes over the same sentence. Throwing it down on her bed, she sat there and stared at the wall, guilt creeping into her emotion, realising that she had been hasty in her annoyance with Eric and knowing that she should go and explain. Before she had fully formulated a plan, her robe was thrown on over her pyjamas and she traversed the two flights of stairs down to Eric's corridor.

She knocked softly on his door, knowing that he could not be asleep due to the chink of light that showed underneath. There was no answer, but Katherine tried the door anyway. Finding it open she went in, letting it close behind her.

He was sitting on the end of his bed, his long legs drawn up and one arm resting on his knee. Half ready for bed in a t-shirt and boxers, but still with his mask on, he sat there listening to the opera pouring from the speakers.

She stood there unsure what to say, for he gave no sign of recognition, barely acknowledging her presence. "Eric," she began with a deep breath, wanting to say her piece. He said nothing but raised his hand to stop her words interrupting the music.

"_La donna e mobile,_" he intoned at the end of the piece. "Woman is fickle is the translation".

"Yes they are," Katherine agreed sitting down next to him on the bed. "Very".

"So are you here to give me a crash course in understanding women then?" His tone of voice was light and she realised that he was not holding a grudge at their fierce exchange of words earlier.

"I think it will take more then a crash course, most men don't learn it in a lifetime."

He grunted with amusement. "Well there is no hope for me then, is there?"

"Probably not, anyway, I am sorry about what I said, I didn't mean it and - what are you doing?" Eric, ignoring her apology shifted himself off the end of the bed and opened the window, leaning out onto the wide ledge.

"You hungry? Toast?" Katherine's stomach let out a rumble in agreement and Eric chuckled softly. Picking up the tub of margarine that was sitting in the cold outside he slipped some bread into the toaster that sat under the desk and crouched on the floor waiting for it. They sat in companionable silence, listening to the music pour from the speakers into the room.

"What's this about?" Katherine asked finally. "I mean this music. I know it's an opera and I recognised that piece earlier, but what is the story?"

"Oh, a woman and her love for a duke that goes horribly wrong because of a curse placed on her father who is a pretty bad bit of lowlife," he explained idly, picking up the toast and buttering it. He handed it to her and put spread on a piece for himself, before devouring it hungrily. "A bit confusing I s'pose, but a lot of opera has very dodgy plotlines that wouldn't stand up to much scrutiny. Although _Rigoletto_ is by no means the most dramatic. More?" he nodded towards the remains of the slice in Katherine's hand and slid more bread into the toaster.

"Yes please. Is it your favourite then?"

"Favourite what?"

"Favourite opera?" Katherine popped the last few bites of toast into her mouth. "I mean if I recognise a tune, then it must be quite a popular one."

"Opera is more difficult then just having a favourite one or not," Eric said thoughtfully, slowly munching on his remaining crust. "You could say there is an opera for every mood you are in, although undying love does tend to be a central theme." He paused and Katherine could tell that he was gathering his thoughts. "It makes me so cross that when you go to the opera there are all these people there who have just been invited for corporate entertainment and don't really give a shit about the music, they're just there to be seen." He waved the remnants of his toast in the air in agitation, his lips pressed together. "You should only go to the opera if you really love it I feel. I wouldn't be responsible for my actions if I took someone and they didn't enjoy it. Fell asleep on my shoulder or the like." He handed Katherine another piece of steaming toast.

"So what counts as opera for beginners then?"

"Easy listening?" Eric questioned, settling himself into a more comfortable position on the floor. "_La Traviata _is wonderful, _Rigoletto_ isn't bad. Some of Mozart's perhaps – _Cosi Fan Tutte_?" he mused. "I would probably start with _La Traviata_."

"Oh, I know that one" Katherine said bouncing on the bed in excitement. "It was in the movie _Pretty Woman_."

"Possibly" Eric chuckled. "I've never seen it."

"Oh it's great, about this really handsome chap who picks up a hooker, but then finds that she brings something into his life and they fall in love. And it has the greatest line in movie history. '_Wake up, time to shop'._" Katherine mimicked with an American accent. At this Eric's chuckle turned into laughter.

"Is that your idea of heaven? Shop until you drop?"

"No not really," Katherine sighed lustily as she considered his question. "I don't dislike shopping of course, but sometimes it can be a real hassle. I mean I hate crap quality clothes and I can't afford good quality so sometimes it makes me depressed, because all I seem to end up wearing is sensible things. I guess when you grow up in the countryside you don't have much call for high heels and all that."

"Well that's a relief," Eric commented, laughter still gathered around his mouth. "Don't think I could stand it if your idea of a good time was shopping."

"So like most typical men you run away at the idea of a shop or purchasing anything that's not for immediate entertainment."

"No," he spoke slowly with consideration. "They can actually be quite fascinating, shops that is, especially the big department stores as they're like a community within themselves. The ideas and concepts that you see and the way things are marketed at you, it's very clever." Katherine said nothing, just sat on the bed, listening to the animated speech of the soul heir to the Reighland Group, which owned some of the largest and most elegant department stores around the British Isles.

"Have you ever been in one?" He knew what she was talking about.

"No, I have never dared. I've looked in the windows though?"

"And?"

"It's okay, starting to look old though, a bit shabby."

"So you want to go in and change it then do you?" She kept her voice light, hoping he would not react.

"I want nothing to do with them or their stores," there was venom in his voice. "They didn't want me and I don't need them. They can shove their stupid stores where the sun doesn't shine for all I care." A red rash rose up his neck showing his agitation and anger and Katherine realised she needed to diffuse the situation.

"Might be rather big."

"What?"

"Might rather hurt to shove a whole department store up your bottom." An uncontrollable giggle escaped and with it she saw Eric relax at her teasing. "Be a very bad case of piles," she continued as she saw his mouth reluctantly tug up at the corner.

"Okay, okay," he admitted defeat, the grin widening into a smile. "Yes, you're right, I shouldn't get so worked up." He leant back on his palms, waiting for her to continue, but she just sat there as a wide yawn split her face.

"Can we finish this another time?" she asked with a stretch. "I didn't realise it was so late I had better go." She bent over and sought Eric's lips with a kiss. "Night, night, sleep tight," she murmured against his mouth. He lifted his hands and held her face, deepening the kiss.

"Stay," his voice was a whisper. "Stay the night with me. I want to be with you when I wake up." He drew back, taking her with him so that she fell off the bed and lay there cradled in his arms, laughing. "I mean it!" The voice echoed in her head. She turned and looked at him, searching his eyes for the true meaning to his offer. Yet Eric's gaze did not hold lust, just hopefulness. "I just want to spend the night with you, nothing else" he added as if he understood her unasked question.

"Okay," staring at his eyes, she could tell that he spoke the truth and before she could question her judgement she crawled off his lap and into his bed. From her position she could still see Eric sitting on the floor, looking rather surprised at her reaction to his plea. "Are you coming to join me, or are you so chaste you want to sleep on the floor?"

"No," he rose to his full height over her. "Just one moment" he countered and went into the bathroom. Through the open door Katherine watched him. The deep breath that he took as he stared at his masked face in the glass, did not escape her. As if mentally preparing himself, he took it off and with no more then a brief glance at his reflection bent down and cleaned his teeth with the concentration of a young child taking an exam.

He finally finished and with a hesitant smile walked back into the bedroom, sliding in under the covers. "Never smile at a crocodile," Katherine said softly under her breath, glancing at his straight white teeth.

"What?"

"Nothing, just a silly saying." She looked at him again. "Actually you do have very good teeth. Very straight. Braces?"

"Braces?" he echoed. "Oh, no, just another joyful irony. Perfect teeth to go with an imperfect face." She felt rather then saw his shrug, before he lent over and switched the light off, plunging the room into sudden darkness. It did not take long for their eyes to adjust to the light so that the room was suddenly full of dim shadows.

They lay next to each other, trying their hardest not to steal each other's space, despite the small bed. Too tired to make conversation, but too aware of the other's physical presence, they both lay under the duvet, lost in their own thoughts. Katherine shifted on to her side, trying to make more room for Eric, unwittingly pressing her hip into his body.

"You awake?" she whispered.

"No," the reply came back and he turned to face her, his eyes dark pools and his features softened in the darkness. She reached out a hand and traced the line of his nose.

"When will it all be finished?" she asked, aware that questions in the dark were easier.

"I have to go and see the surgeon in a couple of days, down in London." He paused. "I was wondering if you would come with me?" He tried to keep the hopeful hint out of his voice.

"Of course," Katherine agreed, without even considering. "We do things together, right?"

"Right," Eric agreed slowly, unsure if he should tell her the real reason for his reticence about the visit. He knew that the chances of his mother being present were high and he never enjoyed spending time in her company. "Well, I'll find out then how much longer. I don't know, but at least another operation and also some laser treatment. I have waited so long it is immaterial now."

On impulse he leaned forward and seeking her lips with his, planted a kiss on them. "Thank you for staying the night," he whispered to her and then closing his eyes seemed to fall asleep. Katherine however, was unable to seek the land of dreams so easily and lay awake, studying his sleeping form in the darkness. He rolled over onto his front, burying his face in the pillow, hiding it even in sleep. She saw even in repose that he did not seem truly relaxed. With a sigh, she settled her head on the small part of the pillow left and closed her eyes, willing herself to lose consciousness. Before she knew it, she fell asleep next to Eric.

Her sleep was deep, untouched by any dreams and when she woke the next day she felt as if she were surfacing from underneath a pool, unable to draw breath. Wrestling with the covers she opened her eyes, disorientated by the view that greeted her. She was aware that it was not her room, for it almost had the simplicity of a monks cell in comparison to the laden walls and shelves she possessed. Suddenly it dawned on her that it was not her bed and not her residence but Eric's. Shifting herself on to the pillows, she looked around, but the room was empty of his presence.

Unable to make her sleep drugged mind understand the situation, she closed her eyes and snuggled back down under the covers, inhaling the masculine scent that tainted his sheets and trying to regain the state of unconsciousness that she had just been in. Just as she was on the verge of succeeding, the door opened letting in the sounds and smells of the rising of hundreds of students and admitting Eric into the room.

At the interruption, Katherine once again wearily opened her eyes and observed him as he walked in. His top was covered in sweat, imprinting a triangle of deeper colour into the back. His odour was a strange mixture of sweat and fresh air invading the stuffier atmosphere of the room. She lay there, quietly observing as he shucked off his shoes and pulled the mask off. Grabbing a towel from where it had been draped over the radiator he pressed it to his face, obviously wiping the sweat off. He seemed almost oblivious to her presence, so consumed in his post-exercise ritual that she did not wish to disturb him and so just lay in his bed silently watching as he went about his routine. He dropped a few envelopes on the table and pulled off the wet top, dropping it on top of the trainers and sat down at the desk, so that Katherine could drink in the sight of his back.

Long and lean, he sat up very straight, the line of his spine a depression in his back. It was clean, no moles or freckles marking the surface, no extra roles of flesh gathering around his waist. His shoulders were broad, biceps corded with muscle, before tapering into long arms, strong wrists and his amazing large but elegant hands.

Without even glancing at his bed he slit the envelope open and pulled out the thick letter. Katherine watched as he quickly read it, before dropping the sheet of paper with obvious disgust. He stood up, a weariness apparent in his limbs as his hands went to his waist to remove the tracksuit bottoms.

Realising that she was about to witness an impromptu strip tease, she felt a surge of guilt and coughed slightly stirring in bed as if she were just waking. It worked, for Eric stopped and spun round to face her, with alarm. As he saw Katherine in bed, her hair spilling over the pillow, a smile graced his face and he came and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Sleep well?"

"Yes," her face slowly spread into a smile at the sight of his face and the expression of alarm that was just fading. "How long have you been up?"

"An hour or so."

"Do you always run in the morning?" Her hand peeped out from under the cover and she plucked at the sweatpants that stuck to his body.

"I know I need a shower," he interpreted her gesture. "And yes I do try and run every morning, it helps to clear my mind." He stood up and turned his back on her and continued undressing. Katherine found herself admiring his body. His legs were finely toned, the muscles like those in his arms, an obvious indication of the exercise he did. He quickly removed his bottoms and clad only in a pair of boxer shorts, wrapped a dressing gown around him. Not looking at her, he went into the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind him, obviously not wanting interruption.

Once again, Katherine pushed herself into a sitting position in the bed and looked around the room. Seeing the kettle sitting next to the toaster, she clambered out of her nest and switched it on to boil. It was a sunny spring morning that beckoned the unaware and then chilled them with a blast of cool air. Shivering, she sought her dressing gown that had slipped to the floor and wrapped it around her, willing the water to heat more quickly so that she could make tea.

Turning her nose up at the unwashed mug that was sitting on the desk, her gaze took in the mail that had been abandoned on the table. Unwilling to have a proper look, she tried to read the single page of writing. The paper being thick, it remained creased, but she was able to make out the signature of ' Momma' at the bottom. The sound of the shower stopping startled her from snooping and she hurriedly returned to her contemplation of the kettle.

A moment later the door opened and Eric was readmitted. "Much better," he showed obvious satisfaction with his ablutions.

Katherine smiled up at him in reply, before looking puzzled. "Where do you keep your spare mugs and coffee and tea?" With a small smile he opened the cupboard door and extracted a jar and packet from the shelf, passing them to her, along with two mugs.

"Make me a coffee would you?" He glanced around the room and sunk into the armchair, propping his feet up on the table. "God I ache," he groaned.

"From too much running?"

"From trying to sleep with someone else in a bed that can barely take one!"

"Yeah, well same here. I think they must put them in on purpose. Can you imagine if we all had nice wide double beds, the amount of sharing that would go on?" She poured hot water into the two mugs and glanced around the room.

"Milk on the windowsill, spoon in the cupboard," Eric interpreted her confusion. "Would you pass me my mail?" She picked up the handful of envelopes in her hand and passed them to him as she went to the cupboard. Opening it, she saw everything inside was neatly arranged, much like the rest of the room, a contrast to most of her friends' living space.

She finished making the drinks and handed a cup to her boyfriend, who was intently reading the letter that had earlier garnered her intention. He scowled and she guessed that whatever was written did not please him. "Something wrong?" she ventured, as she lent against the radiator sipping her tea.

"Hmm," He looked up, seeming slightly surprised. "Oh, nothing, nothing." He waved her question away and turned his attention to the other mail. "What a load of crap" was his analysis as he threw it untidily on the table and stretched, accompanied by a massive yawn. "I suppose I had better get going, I have a seminar in ten minutes. What are your lectures today?"

"One in an hour and then mechanics at four." She looked over the rim of her cup at him as he stretched again and stood up, leaving the letters in a messy pile in front of him, before pausing, glancing at her, embarrassment written into his features. Katherine glanced at the papers on the table, desperately wanting to know what the letter from his mother said, especially as he did not seem happy to receive it. She drained her mug and set it down. "I had better get going, change into something a little more respectable," she commented, realising that he was hesitating about being undressed in front of her.

"Oh, but I think pink flannel pyjamas are going to be in fashion this season." Eric teased, as he bent forward and pecked her on the lips. "I promised Jenny that I would go for a coffee with her at eleven, but I'll see you in mechanics later?" Katherine nodded in agreement and finding her slippers, left the room, feeling very unsure about her relationship once again.

Spending the night with Eric was not what she had expected to do and when she agreed, she did not expect it to turn out to be a chaste sleepover. As far as she was aware, he had not touched her at all during the night. His behaviour that morning confused her even more, for it was almost as if he had forgotten she was there. As she walked towards the stairs, she heard the voice that she was dreading.

"Katie?" It sounded curious and Katherine turned to find Rob bearing down on her. A smile graced his face, but one eyebrow was raised in question. "Dare I even ask why you are on the men's floor in your night attire at ten in the morning?"

"No," she replied crossly, continuing her trek down the corridor and forcing Rob to keep pace with her. "You'll have drawn your conclusions already anyway."

"Me?" he sounded shocked. "Okay, yes. So I take it you enjoyed last night then? Maybe we should do it again? Are we going out to _The Fez_ like we said last night?"

"Yeah, might as well," Katherine commented non-comitally. "Want to spread the word?"

"Okay sure." He gave Katherine a brief one-armed hug and clattered off down the stairs, as she wearily climbed the two flights up to her room to get dressed and go to her lectures, wishing that she could instead spend the day in bed, analysing her relationship with Eric.

Eric could not find his mask as he searched over the room. He was running late for his seminar, as he had not wished to get dressed in front of Katherine, embarrassed at showing her his body. Locating it under the towel that had been draped across his chair he tied it on and left the halls at a slow run, his books under his arm.

He managed to cross to the other side of the campus in record time and reached the meeting, although his mind was far away from the discussion involved. He felt detached as he answered the questions and raised further issues on the subject in question and the hour seemed to fly by.

"Good work Eric," his tutor commented as Eric hastily put his files back in his bag.

"Thanks," Eric smiled vaguely at his tutor, hoping that he did not want to start a discussion, as he did not have time.

"I was hoping that you would consider joining the Maths Society," the man continued, obviously a subject that he had been wishing to bring up for ages. "We could do with someone like you on the panel."

"I'll think about it," Eric replied in a tone that brooked no argument. He was glad to see that his lecturer understood his natural reticence and did not push the subject further, but just watched as his student strode out the room. With a glance at his watch, Eric realised that he still had time before meeting Jenny and shortened his ground-eating stride. He was walking past the post room, head bent, avoiding the gaze of the other students, when he heard his neighbour's shout for his attention. Stopping in the middle of the quad, he turned and waited for Rob to catch up with him.

"I saw Katherine earlier."

"Yeah?"

"Said you are still planning on going to _The Fez_ tonight?"

"Well, we all talked about it last night," Eric frowned, realising what Rob was about to say. "Are you going to go then?"

"Yeah, managed to get hold of Chris and Lucy, haven't seen Jenny."

"For fuck's sake Rob, she's _your_ girlfriend," Eric spat out, annoyed at his friend's casual attitude, forgetting in his frustration about his personal rule not to draw attention towards himself. "I'm about to meet her for a coffee, perhaps you should come along."

"No, no, can't - I'm in Lab all morning," Rob pushed aside the offer, looking uncertain with Eric's outburst. He soon regained his demeanour and pushed a small bag into Eric's hand. "By the way, I thought you might find these useful" he said, as he turned with a grin and a wave before walking away. "See you later," he called back over his shoulder.

Eric looked at the small packet in his hand, wrapped in the candy-striped paper of the local chemist. Dropping his bag, he opened it and peered inside, his face breaking into a grin as he saw the box of condoms. With a small chuckle, he slid it into a pocket in his bag and continued on his way. A sobering thought entered his mind and he realised that for Rob to think he had reached that stage of his relationship with Katherine she must have gone back upstairs in her pyjamas. If Rob had seen her, then it was not surprising that he had jumped to the wrong conclusion.

Katherine felt as if she were walking around in a daze all morning. She returned library books, went to lectures and ate her lunch all without seeming to break the cocoon she in which she was wrapped. A combination of tiredness and uncertainty had left her feeling drained and at odds with everything around her.

She had not seen Eric at all that morning, a situation that surprised her, especially the stab of jealousy that hit when she realised it was because he was having a coffee with her friend. She felt tears welling in her eyes as she walked to her lecture, her day having been trying enough already. Her attention elsewhere; she did not notice the handle sticking out on the door of the lecture theatre and her bag caught on it, ripping the strap off and sending the contents flying across the foyer. "Shit, shit, damn it," she swore, hastily trying to gather up the pile of files, paper, pens and letters that were spread in a fan across the floor. Sadly picking up the remains of her bag, she felt the tears pricking at the back of her eyes as she looked at it ripped down one side and swore again.

"Hey, don't worry," the soft voice floated down to her and she looked up to see her boyfriend hunkering down on his heels, her papers gathered in a messy stack in his hands. "Come on now." He gently took her arm and propelled her towards the group of chairs in the corner. "I'm afraid it's dead," was his prognosis on her bag.

"I loved that bag" she sniffed, with a gesture, searching in her pockets for a tissue to stem the threatening spill of tears. "I've had it since the fourth year of school." Eric stared at the canvas satchel worn and ripped down one seam and realised that it had to be more then that, which had made her upset. His conversation with Jenny had been eye opening, for she freely told him how deep Katherine's feelings for him were.

"Tell you what. Let's skive off and we can go and get you a new bag and just chill this afternoon? I'll get the homework off someone. It's only mechanics."

"Only mechanics." Katherine gave a wobbly laugh. "Trust you to say that. Mechanics usually leaves me weak at the knees with confusion." She smiled up at him. "Okay, let's go shopping instead." They paused briefly to drop their work off in Eric's room and went into town where Eric led her to a small and expensive shop and chose a Mulberry bag for her.

"I can't afford this," Katherine hissed as he took it up to the counter. "That could feed me for a month." Eric handed over his card and smiled shyly at her. He did not enjoy shopping, aware that people were staring at him, but he desperately wanted to treat her and the situation could not have better presented itself. He handed her the bag as they turned from the counter and looked for the exit.

"Happy Birthday?" he suggested.

"In two month's time actually," she replied. "But thank you very much. I will pay you back - I have some savings."

"Don't worry," Eric stopped her and then paused as they got outside the building. "I thought I told you?"

"Told me what?"

"I'm a trust fund baby."

"A what?" Katherine looked at him.

"I hold a rather large percentage of shares within The Reighland Group. These pay an amount of interest each month. I don't get all of it," he added hastily as Katherine continued to stare at him, agog at his latest revelation. "My Grandparents handle all the transactions, but pay me an allowance each month to live on, which is generous in the extreme. Anne-Marie looks after it all."

"How much are your shares worth?"

"A lot." Eric did not elaborate. "I reach my majority on my twenty-fifth birthday, but until then it can't be touched."

"But you don't seem to enjoy shopping," Katherine commented. "You don't look wealthy." Eric laughed.

"How are wealthy people supposed to look then?"

"Oh, I don't know. Subtle labels, height of fashion. Not ripped jeans and tatty tops." She pulled at his worn and hole filled sweater with a laugh. "Not that it matters."

"No, but I don't feel that the money is mine." He sobered up. "How can I spend money that comes from holding shares in a company I don't want anything to do with?"

"Well you just spent a rather large amount of it on me," Katherine pointed out.

"Yeah, but that was on you. I feel like a hypocrite when I spend it on myself."

"I wouldn't worry. At least you are not languishing in poverty like most students. I mean you have the best music system; the largest collection of CDs that I have ever seen, that latest computer and you don't have to work to fund it. I wouldn't complain too much."

"Are you going to have to get a job then?"

"Yeah in the holidays, definitely. I'll try and live on my loan unless I can get a bursary; I used to help my Dad out occasionally, so he might give me some work." She gave a light-hearted laugh. "But I think I scare them too much."

"The animals or the owners?"

"Oh, the owners definitely!" They walked back to their halls of residence and wandered up to Eric's room. Katherine stood by the door, looking at the messy pile of papers that constituted her work; making a dent in the neatly made bed. "Well, thanks very much for the bag," she said quietly, unsure how to show her gratitude further.

"That's okay," Eric turned to face her. "But, it will cost you," he demanded softly before bending over, seizing her lips in a kiss. Katherine chuckled softly, but then placed her arms around his neck and kissed him back. His lips traced to her neck and down on to her shoulder, joined by a gentle but hesitant fondling of her breast through her top and suddenly Katherine felt herself melting in his arms. Just as she was about to abandon her restraint he stopped.

"Ohh," she moaned slightly, not wanting the sensation to finish. "Don't stop."

"No, I think that's enough for now," there was a degree of satisfaction in his tone. "Besides, if we are going out tonight, don't you want to get ready?"

"Why what's the time?"

"Six." Katherine's hand flew to her face. "And we're supposed to be meeting everyone at eight in the bar," he prompted.

"Oh gosh, yes. Um" she hesitated, "So do you mind if I, uh, go?"

"No," Eric chuckled. "I'll come up to your room at about seven-thirty?"

"Okay," she stood on tiptoe and pulled the mask off him, pecking his good cheek. "I'll see you later. I have a miracle to perform." She bent over the bed and started to gather her papers into a disorganised pile in her arms, when she felt Eric walk up behind her and stand up against her legs. She was aware of an unfamiliar sensation and realising he was aroused she stood up and swirled around to face him, the unasked question obvious on her face, surprised at his sudden change of attitude. He was behaving as she would expect any man to and not with the chastity he had used that morning. Obviously his talk with Jenny had cleared up a few issues.

He cocked a cheeky eyebrow at her in answer. "You'd better go and get ready," he said with a slight sigh and stepped back with a gesture towards the door. "I'll see you in a bit."

"Okay then, bye," Katherine reached upwards and their lips met briefly once more before she slipped out of the room, her arms full. Eric's reaction amused and confused her. For most of the day, she had thought that he was not aware of the signals that she had been giving out, and that she wished to consummate their relationship.

With a sigh, she headed for her room to get ready for the evening and mull over her peculiar relationship with her boyfriend.

84


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you to everyone who has reviewed this story. I am reluctantly posting more, for I am hoping to get this published and so do not want it to be totally available in the public domaine. However,please keep letting me know what you think as it gives me the confidence to keep tryingas the rejection letters come through!**

**For your general information, in this first part of the story, Eric is nineteen (his birthday is in November) and Katherine is eighteen (her birthday is the start of May). I chose Cambridge University as the setting, for Oxford and Cambridge are the top unis in England (similar to Harvard). Anyway please enjoy and let me know what you think. **

**Oh and this chapter contains quite graphic sex scenes, so please do not read on if you are easily offended.**

**Thanks. Pips**

Chapter Four

"I must be very drunk," Eric reflected to himself as they left the building and walked into the night. The air outside the club had a sweet freshness to it, the heady scent of spring underlying the cleanliness of the middle of the night. The moon shone full and bright, adding its eerie glow to the few remaining streetlights. With heightened awareness, Eric drunk it all in, his senses sharpened. It was only the feeling of Katherine's shoulders beneath his arm that grounded him and brought him back down.

He gently guided her along the semi-lit streets, back to his room and back to what he had planned, or not planned. It had been a hell of a shock he reflected, waking up that morning and finding her next to him. He had asked her to stay in a moment of weakness, lulled by the ease of their conversation and the warmth of companionship. But in the cold light of morning, he realised that he was open and so much more vulnerable by letting her sleep in his bed.

His whole life was ruled by opposing factors, restraint on the one hand, that had been drummed into him by his mother and the desire to posses, create and explore. The force of a lifetime had made him expel Katherine from his room that morning, not knowing how to react to her presence. The desire of a lifetime was making him take her back there tonight.

Jenny had been the one that had made him realise what he needed to do. "Katherine is so mad about you," the words echoed in his brain as if she had joined in their stroll. "She will follow you anywhere." When Eric had asked her to explain this further, confused at her terminology, Jenny had shrugged and smiled, "You know, go anywhere, do anything," was her only elaboration.

Suddenly it was clear to Eric what she was talking about, why Katherine had become cross last night, why she had worn such a sexy little skirt and top to the nightclub. He breathed in a huge lungful of air and looked at his girlfriend who smiled sleepily at him.

"You didn't enjoy tonight, did you?" she said quietly. Eric looked down at her with shock, wondering how she was so perceptive.

"That obvious?"

"Well, to anyone who knows you, yes." She shrugged and smiled.

"Too may people, too hot, too crowded," Eric complained.

"Agreed, but isn't there at least a degree of anonymity about it?" He did not answer her, but bent down, his mask brushing her cheek as he kissed her on the lips.

"Come back to my room?"

"Of course." There was a wealth of understanding in her simple reply.

They continued their journey in silence; each reflecting on the chosen path, knowing that after this there was no turning back. The slamming of his door seemed to signify the start of the event, a play that had no script to it. Katherine laughed a little hollowly, the noise echoing around the room. Eric kicked off his shoes and came to stand in front of her.

"Now what?"

"I'm not quite sure," he admitted. With an innate instinct, he bent and kissed her on the lips, softly at first, but when she moaned quietly and opened her mouth beneath his, he deepened it.

"I don't think we need this," she quietly reached up and pulled off his mask. Her subconscious suddenly aware that Eric no longer challenged the action or even flinched when she removed it. Instead, he immediately took advantage of the opportunity and bending down kissed her deeply again, not even noticing that Katherine still clutched his mask in her hand. His hand moved to her chest, gently reaching under her top to stroke her breasts lightly. She responded to his touch, dropping the mask so it lay face down by her side and lifting her hand to touch his face, rather overwhelmed by his sudden enthusiasm.

His hand travelled round to her back and she felt a fumbling before her bra was released and fell to the floor between them. With this, Eric straightened, lifted her arms and pulled her top off, before kneeling down in front of her. He took the small, hardened nipple into his mouth and lightly sucked. Katherine felt as if she was melting as his hands and mouth became more demanding, sending waves of passion screaming through her body.

Just as they were on the point of losing all control there was a loud knock on the door. Eric sighed and stood up, claiming her mouth in a passionate kiss, the moment broken by the interruption. The rally of knocks landed again, more insistent, determined not to be ignored. "Let them in," Katherine said with a sigh, reaching for her discarded top. At the next pounding, Eric walked over to the door and unlocking it, opened it a crack, allowing a rather drunk Rob to put his head around.

"You decent?" Eric knowing what he meant bent down and retrieving his mask; tied it on. Rob pushed the door opened and came into the room with Jenny, also letting in a blast of cool air from the rest of the building, disturbing the comforting stuffiness. Katherine shivered as the draft reached her, goosebumps rising on her arms as she felt her passion cool with their visitors. Eric noticing it went and wrapped his arms around her, imparting some warmth in his embrace.

"When did you guys go?" Jenny asked, gazing at Katherine in a knowing way.

"About half an hour ago," Katherine tried to communicate their need to be left alone. "We felt hot and tired."

"Yeah, same," Jenny observed Katherine's rumpled clothes and tousled hair, her eyes falling to the bra that lay in an untidy heap behind her legs before darting up to meet Eric's watchful gaze. She gave a slight smile. "Come on Rob," she said tactfully, "Let's go." Grabbing his hand, she started to drag him from the room, realising her friends wanted to be alone.

"Hey mate," Rob waylaid her, turning to Eric. "Can I borrow some supplies?" Eric nodded, indicating, his top desk drawer with a wave of his hand, only the slight downturn of his mouth portraying how he felt about his friends actions. Rob swiftly went into it and pulling out a handful of condoms, stuffed them into his pocket. "Thanks, I owe you!" Grabbing Jenny's hand he led her from the room, letting the door slam behind him.

Eric pulled the mask off and turned to resume the activities that he had been enjoying before they had been interrupted, but Katherine held him off, placing a restraining hand on his chest.

"Eric, why do you have so many?" she asked nervously.

"So many what?" he asked before realising what she was talking about. "Oh, Rob gave them to me and it looks like he has just taken half of them back. I promise, I've never had a need for them before."

"You mean you're a …," she left the word unsaid, dangling in the air, amazement and curiosity in her voice, but not saying it, not wanting to label him.

"Yes," he replied simply. "Do you really think anyone would want to…" he too trailed off, with a gesture towards his face.

"But," Katherine stuttered unable to digest the information she had just been told. "You don't act like a virgin."

"I didn't realise that virgins acted in a particular way," his hand reached down and he lightly started stroking his fingers over her arm. He circled her wrist with his fingers and lifted it, dropping a kiss in her palm. "You'll just have to teach me, won't you?"

"So pardon me for asking," Katherine muttered as his hand continued its upward assent on her body, never losing its gentle incessant rhythm. "How the hell did you get so good at kissing? I don't think it falls under the list of talents you were born with."

"There have been a couple of girls," Eric's voice was gruff to hide his shame, and he bent his head in embarrassment. "There are people out there who find the mask a turn on, the mystery of it all. I took advantage of the situation. You can teach yourself a lot."

"Nothing wrong with that," Katherine whispered as they closed the gap between them and Eric buried his face in her neck, kissing her so thoroughly that her legs turned to jelly. He guided her over to her bed, where he once again discarded her top and skirt, before he knelt down and removed her shoes. Katherine nervously sat down on the edge of the mattress, clad only in her tights and knickers, unsure of what he was doing.

"I think it's your turn?" she joked, desperately trying to hide her nervousness and fighting the effort to cross her arms over her breasts and hide them. "Here I am wearing hardly anything and you've still got all your clothes on."

"Don't you want to admire them a bit more," Eric bartered for time, feeling just as uneasy and hoping to delay the final moment, his confidence having deserted him. "They are supposedly fashionable and free of holes!"

"Very," Katherine agreed quietly and then before her courage left her she stood up and grabbed his top, pulling it up, so that he was forced to take it off. "And your trousers," she nodded towards them and with a small wry smile, he undid his belt and pushed them down to his ankles, where with a small kick he shucked his socks and trousers off into an untidy pile. Katherine found herself catching her breath as he stood up. There was not a spare inch of flesh on a body that rippled with muscles.

She ran her finger over the lean tight stomach. "You don't get this all from running," she commented.

"I work out," he shrugged. "It gives me focus."

"It gives you much more then that," Katherine whispered, trailing a lip against his chest and giggling at Eric's intake of breath. She copied his earlier movements and brushed the palm of her hand against his nipple, causing him to breathe deeply at the sensation. Half wanting her to stop and at the same time wishing her to continue he bent his head and claimed her lips in a kiss, pressing her body against his, letting her know how much he desired her as his hands went to her waist and pushed her tights down past her hips. With a giggle that changed to a scream, she over balanced and with her legs bonded together by her hosiery, fell onto the bed, taking Eric with her so that he landed on top.

"Oof," he grunted at the impact, before realising the advantage of his position. "You have such beautiful eyes," he said, brushing a lock of hair out of her face and drinking in her large brown eyes that seemed to be fathomless in the dim light.

"Do I?" she whispered back, looking deeply into his piercing blue ones that were fixed on her face. Fringed by long dark lashes and a bright blue in colour they provided the same extent of contrast to his face, as his body did. With a slow movement, she lifted her head and kissed him on the lips, closing her eyes to deeper enjoy the sensation.

"God you are so beautiful," Eric said kissing her. "You are utterly exquisite, please stay that way." She draped her hands around his neck, feeling the hard sinewy muscles in his back and shoulders as he bent to kiss her. His hands raced over her body and she responded, doing the same, glorying in every firm muscle. She emitted a low groan that caused Eric to respond with a quiet laugh.

"Not yet," he whispered in her ear enjoying the sensation too much, but carrying on a delicious torment on every inch of her skin, kissing and caressing, his tongue running over her naked body, down onto her navel and lower near to her knickers, before the coolness of the air and the touch of his flesh on hers; told her that they had been removed along with her tights.

"Now," she whispered, pushing her hips against his and was aware as the heat of his body left hers. She heard Eric fumbling around and tearing open the condom packet, but as the moments ticked by and he did not return, she sat up and saw him gazing with a certain disbelief at the object in his hand. Without words, she took it from him and gently touched him. He gasped and closed his eyes and she continued, lightly trailing her fingers up and down and grasping it firmly.

Taking advantage of the moment, she leant down and kissed the firm skin before gently rolling the condom on. Leaning back on the bed she guided him between her legs before being aware of the sensation and comforting pain shooting through her body, as he entered her.

He lay completely still, fully within her, hardly daring to breathe, only aware of the amazing feeling as she gripped him with her muscles. Very gently he moved, the emotion overwhelming him as nothing had ever done before. He was barely aware of what he was doing and let instinct and Katherine's movements guide him as he drove repeatedly into her body, wanting her to feel as he did. He was vaguely aware of her arching her back and crying out beneath him, before he came into her with a cry and slumped down on top of her chest.

Katherine floated back down to reality. Never before had she made love with such enthusiasm and passion, had someone totally give themselves to her. She looked at the man lying on her chest. The disfigured side of his face was buried against her skin and the cheek that she could see was wet with sweat and possibly tears, although she could not tell. Unable to do much else, she lifted her hand and gently stroked his hair as the final tremors left him. A few moments later, he moved his head and looked at her.

"Katherine," was all that he said, although the word held so much meaning. It was thanks, it was praise, and it was a prayer as he gently slid out of her. He looked between his legs aghast at the sight of the condom hanging limply off and grabbing a tissue deposited it in the bin, before once again lying down next to her. "I…" he trailed off, for once words totally deserting him, unable to even begin to classify the emotions he had experienced and what he was now feeling. He gazed at her and she looked back at him, aware that what had taken place was more then just sex, more then just animal instinct. A bond had been formed that transcended all boundaries and previous attachments. With the sharing of their bodies they had signed an unwritten pact of commitment and in the ensuing silence they both considered their sacrifice.

"I don't know what to say," Eric whispered in some distress. "I don't understand how I feel."

"You don't need to say anything. I know what you mean. It's as if you want to unzip someone and climb inside, so that you can be this close forever."

"Yes," Eric attempted a wan smile. "I know what music could describe this."

"Do you?" He nodded. "Put it on for me then," she whispered. He rose from the bed and with unerring instinct, his hand found the CD he was looking for. A few moments later the melodic cords filled the room. They promised hope, love and a passion never seen before and as Katherine drifted off lying in Eric's arms, she knew that he was right. This was the start of something indescribable.

He turned to her as the dawn touched the sky and demanded of her again. She responded, sleepiness adding heaviness to her limbs and so their lovemaking held a slow-drugged peace. Having earlier satisfied the lust of their bodies, they took time to explore each other, lazily discovering each other in detail, drawing the blueprint that only a lover can carry with them. Kissing and caressing, they barely opened their eyes, not allowing wakefulness to carry them into a new day, but maintained the dream quality of their coupling.

"Is it always like this?" Eric whispered.

"Like offering yourself up body and soul?" Katherine knew the meaning to his simple question. She felt rather then saw his nod. "No, not at all. Sex can be the most meaningless and selfish act there is. Making love and having sex are very different things, even if the actions are similar."

"Let's never do that then." Eric stated with firmness.

"What?"

"Have sex, instead of making love. Katherine smiled but it was touched with sadness.

"That would be wonderful," she agreed cautiously, knowing how difficult it would be to fulfil such a promise. Eric, with the enthusiasm that only first love can have, believed in its power totally and trusted its strength with an alarming simplicity. Katherine though had been burnt, and was wary of making such a commitment. She opened her eyes fully and looked at Eric, his face bleached of colour in the new light of the day. It held such a look of promise, trust and love that Katherine found she pushed aside her fears and kissing him in response to his idea, cuddled up to him, drifting once again to sleep.

It seemed that she had only closed her eyes before the demanding noise of an alarm clock rent the silence. She struggled with a tangle of limbs and sheets before grabbing the offending item and turning it off.

With a sigh, she settled back into the bed attempting to sleep once more, when she realised that unlike yesterday she was not alone. Eric still lay next to her, fast asleep, his head thrown back on the pillow and encircled by one arm, the other firmly draped across her body. She twisted herself slightly, trying to free herself from its hold without waking the owner. With success, she raised herself on one elbow and gazed at the sleeping figure of her boyfriend. He seemed at peace, unlike the previous night, his breathing even and regular. The duvet cover was pushed down so that he was bare to his hips, displaying the flat stomach and the small line of hair that ran from his belly button to his pelvis.

Her gaze rested unwaveringly on his face as she studied it deeply. The scarred cheek was a large weld, that was raised and red and dominated that side of his face, contrasting sharply with the seemingly clear half. On closer inspection, something that Katherine had never really had the chance to do; she saw that his clear cheek was crossed with tiny thin lines, scars of early welds that must have been removed. It was apparent that one must have pushed up past the edge of his eye, across the corner of his eyebrow and dipped low down on to his neck. Except for a thicker scar that creased into the line around his mouth however, they were almost invisible. Katherine reflected on the operations that must have taken place to remove what must have been substantial haemangioma. She had quietly read up on the subject, trying to understand what the concern was and why Eric seemed to suffer as he did. In doing so, she began to realise that he was quite unique to have such permanent evidence of this affliction.

With a wave of love, she leant over and kissed him on the lips, taking advantage of his repose. He stirred under her touch and moaned lightly, his eyelids fluttering open and fixing on hers in a sleepy half-focused stare. As he woke, a smile creased the corners of his mouth and he lay beneath her gaze.

"Morning sleeping beauty," she joked.

"What's the time?" His voice was a dry croak.

"Ten! Didn't you hear the alarm clock? It would wake the dead."

A frown puckered his face. "Oh, I was dreaming that I was trying to pick up a ringing telephone and it wouldn't stop." He closed his eyes again, as if he were once more falling asleep.

"And you didn't go for a jog," Katherine baited him.

"Had enough exercise already," came his mumbled reply as he blindly reached down and pulled the duvet cover up over both of them.

"And we have a lecture at eleven."

"Plenty of time."

"Good," Katherine reached down between his legs with a smile and grabbed hold of his partially erect penis.

"Whaat?" he opened his eyes again, before he realised what she was doing and closed them again. "Kat, the idea is lovely, but I don't think I could move if you paid me."

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about that," she gave a wicked chuckle and continued her ministrations. Eric gasped as she moved her mouth down to follow her hand.

"Omigod," his intake of breath made Katherine laugh, the vibrations causing him to swallow his breath in amazement. "Don't stop Kat, please whatever you do, don't stop," he begged as her actions became more insistent. "Oh god, I don't think I can control myself." With these words, Katherine finished abruptly, smiling down at him.

"What are you doing? Why? What?" His panic did not allow Eric to ask any true questions, but to simply demand what had happened to the most amazing sensation his body had ever felt. He was aware of Katherine rolling a condom on and a detached part of his mind offered a blessing up to Rob for providing the items in question, for he would never have even thought of it. Just as he believed he had calmed down, his girlfriend raised herself to her knees and straddled him, deliberately and slowly lowering herself onto his hard body.

"God," he groaned as he felt her move, unable to formulate a more detailed response. "Oh God," he repeated as she continued to move. He was aware of the sensation building and growing within him and before he knew it, he came into her with a cry that tore through his body.

Katherine watched him as he came back down to earth. He just lay there, once again not moving, as if he were trying to imprint the whole sensation on his brain. The moments of silence seemed to last forever, before Eric opened first one eye and then the other.

"Kat," was all he uttered.

"Yes."

"I think I have died and gone to heaven," he sighed and shifted beneath her, so that she moved off him.

"Oh dear. That bad?"

"And worse," he agreed with a wan smile. "Don't suppose you could wake me up like that every day?"

"No, don't think I would have the energy," she cuddled up to his side, resting her chin on his chest as his arm curled round her body, drawing her close. "How are you feeling?"

"Totally and utterly drained," he admitted, leaning his head back on the pillow. "I feel as if I have run a marathon. But also curiously at peace." He raised his head and looked down into her face. "I love you Kat. I don't know when or how or why, but I love you." His voice was quiet and determined and she knew better then to interrupt. "I loved you from the first moment I saw you, but now, we know each other, I really, really love you." He held her gaze solidly, unblinking, waiting for her response.

"I, I.." she stuttered, unsure how to respond to such a clear and dedicated confession. "Ditto," she finally said, searching for the words and failing. This tore a low laugh from Eric who realised that she was unable to express herself.

"This is the point in an opera where they break into song about how much they love each other," Eric mused. "Not sure which one would suit us best."

"Oh sing me something," Katherine cried, aware that he possessed the talent, but that he kept it hidden.

"In my weakened state!"

"I'll give you weak," she threatened lightly.

"Okay," he leant back against the pillows and shifted his had to her hair, stroking it lightly. "Let me see, what about this?" Very softly he started to sing. "_'O soave fanciulla,…O dolce viso di mite circonfuso alba lunar in te, vivo ravviso il sogno ch'io vorrei sempre sognar!"_ Katherine did not recognise it, or understand the words, but the beauty of the music and his voice captured her, leaving her spellbound as she listened to him.

"What was that about?"

"_Oh beautiful maiden… Oh, how sweet your face looks, it's beauty softly kissed by the gentle moonlight_," he translated for her bending over and kissing her on the lips. "_In you, sweet maiden, I see the dreams of love I have dreamt about forever_. _Such sweet love invades my soul. I feel such joy and love so tender. Our kisses tremble with love_." He trailed his kiss down her neck, before pausing and looking up. "And he has only met her five minutes before! What's the time?"

"Um" Katherine twisted herself around and looked at the clock reposing on the bedside table. "Ten forty-five," she told him triumphantly.

"Oh shit," he sat bolt upright in bed, ignoring the fact that Katherine fell off his chest. "We have a lecture in fifteen minutes!"

"How can you think about work now, I have no energy left what so ever. I know that I'm not up to an hour of formulae, however much you persuade me."

"You'll flunk this year!"

"No, you can help me pass. Please go and take notes for me," she begged. "It will make more sense that way anyway." With a smile Eric acquiesced and seeking a final kiss from her he got up out of bed, surprised at how weak he felt. Seeking his clothes from the night before, he hurriedly got dressed.

"Mask, mask, mask," he chanted, turning around in the middle of the room and searching for the hidden object.

"Over by the door." He grabbed the offending item and tied it on before bending over and giving Katherine a lingering kiss.

"Be here when I get back," he commanded and she gave him a mock salute in reply as he disappeared through the door.

The silence seemed to echo around the space, which had changed with Eric's absence. Alone it was just another bedroom, like all those in the block. With him in it, it was their haven and retreat.

She stared at the unprepossessing view out of the window, enjoying the languid feeling in her limbs and the utter indulgence of lying in bed in the middle of the day, before her growling stomach forced her to seek sustenance. Putting on Eric's dressing gown, which swamped her, she opened the cupboard and found the tea bags. Filling the kettle, she switched it on and getting the milk and bread from the windowsill sat at the desk waiting for her breakfast.

Smiling to herself about Eric's reaction to condoms she curiously opened the top desk drawer to see how many Rob had given him. With a laugh, she pulled out the box of twenty, wondering to herself if Rob had deliberately bought them with the intention of pinching them back or if he had fixed ideas about Eric's libido. The sound of her toast popping distracted her from her musings and she put the half-empty box back into position. Her attention was caught however, by the sight of a thick sheet of parchment that had been shoved in on top of the contents of the drawer, contrasting with the prevailing neatness. She recognised it as the letter, which had seemed to cause Eric distress the other morning and wondered what it said.

Leaving her breakfast to go cold, she hesitantly picked up the piece of paper, desperately wanting to read it, but also realising that she was snooping. Her fingers shook as she unfolded it and stared at the contents. The writing was a brief black scrawl on the thick parchment, and it did not take Katherine long to read the note.

"_Eric, I hear from Anne-Marie that you are due at the specialists on the 22nd March. I will meet you there, as I need to speak with Mr. Bartholomew about your continuing treatment. Please be on time as I am very busy that day. I would prefer if, in future you would inform me before making your appointments. I can, as usual be reached at the house. Momma."_

Katherine stared at the note and read it again, wondering if she had missed some context in the passage. It was so brief, so formal, not the sort of correspondence that one would expect between mother and child, yet the name suggested a closeness that was not echoed in the words. It lacked any sort of emotion: anger or love. Disgusted by what her role as a meddler had revealed she went to put the letter back in the drawer, only to notice that it had been hiding another pile; neatly held together with an elastic band.

The handwriting on the envelopes did not match the bold arrogant scrawl of Eric's mother writing and Katherine looking for comfort about Eric's life, found herself pulling the top most out and reading it.

"_My dearest Eric,_

_I am sitting on the sofa with Tarragon curled up on my lap taking advantage of a sunbeam that is shining through the window and on to your painting. Yes! I have finally had it framed._

_Of course you may bring Katherine down with you on the 22nd. I cannot wait to meet her, from what you say she sounds lovely._

_I thought you would like to see the ROH brochure that came in the post today. I notice that Eugene Onegin is playing. Would you like me to get you tickets or do you not think that that is the best introduction to opera for Katherine?_

_I must say if you will let me, that when you do finally take her, pluck up the courage I know that you have and sit somewhere else other then the very back. The music alone might be enough for you, but I am sure she would like to see the stage as well!"_

Katherine scanned the rest of the letter, which talked of people they knew and events they had attended, hoping to find reassurance after the coldness of his mother's letter. It was in the last few lines.

"_My darling boy, please try and take care of yourself. I know how stubborn you can be. I look forward to seeing you both in a couple of weeks. Keep smiling until then. All my love. Annie."_

With a sigh, she put the piece of paper down, thankful that there was obviously someone who loved Eric like a son, but confused as another segment of the unusual puzzle of her boyfriend's life was revealed. She picked up a piece of cold toast and set to restoring the letter to its resting place. Emboldened by her find she looked through the other drawers in the desk. It was a veritable magpie's horde, being an assorted collection of sheet music, newspaper articles and drawing pads. Katherine half-heartedly searched through them, pausing at a score with her name scrawled across the top. She studied it for a moment, trying to dredge up the small amount of musical knowledge buried in her brain, wondering what had been composed for her.

At the bottom of the drawer, a set of photographs had been shoved in, their presence hidden by the piles of paper on top, as if they had been purposefully buried. Katherine picked them up and studied them closely, before almost dropping them on the desk in surprise.

Staring back at her was Eric, the scarred side of his face buried in a very fluffy cat, the other side on view, not as clean as his current visage. He was obviously younger and very thin; the eye looking at the camera held a wariness that she had never seen. The date printed on to the side of the photograph was four years ago. Katherine realised this must have been when he first went to stay with his guardian.

The other photos had been taken at the same time, although Eric was clad in his mask. She studied the photographs carefully and saw how pale and awkward he looked, compared to the large muscular person he was now. She realised that he must have come a long way in four years, for the photographs showed a very scared little boy.

The chiming of the clock made her realise that the hour had flown by and if she were not careful, then Eric would discover her prying. She carefully replaced the photographs and shut the drawer, turning her attention to the rest of the room. The CDs that were regimentally lined up above the desk ranged from classical through to pop and rock showing Eric's wide musical taste. Another shelf was piled high with books on many subjects. Katherine looked at them closely, recognising set texts that she had to read, alongside many others. She had walked in on him many times in the past few weeks, and found him sitting on his bed reading, but had never assumed they were anything other then fiction. Once again, she found herself reassessing his abilities.

With a mental shake, she looked around the room, at the messy bed and her clothes in disarray on the floor. She set to work, tidying up and making the bed, so that it was neat for Eric's return. She turned to open the window wide, to let fresh air into the room, and turning back again to pick up her clothes she let out a scream.

Standing calmly in front of her was Eric, a look of amusement in his eyes and a smile dancing on his lips. "Where did you come from?" she gasped, still shocked at the sight of him appearing in the room.

"The corridor."

"I didn't hear you come in. You must have opened the door so silently! You're like a ghost, you just appeared." At her comment, the smile dropped from Eric's lips.

"Well maybe I am a ghost," he said coldly leaving Katherine to gawp at him, unable to guess what had turned his mood sour, hoping that he had not seen her going through his desk.

"Good lecture then?" She decided to stick to safe topics, unsure what she had said that had caused his mood to turn sour.

"As good as can be expected," he replied coolly, his eyes darting around the room. "You didn't have to tidy up you know."

"I've hardly done anything, I've just got out of bed," She wondered if her voice shook with the lie. "I had better get dressed; I need some lunch, starving hungry in fact." She attempted to stay on safe ground and treat his mood swing lightly. "Do you want to join me when you have finished sulking then?"

"What?" Eric seemed to drop his moodiness like a mantle, aware that his girlfriend did not understand the reason behind it. "I'm sorry, you know I'm just a git at times. Yes, yes of course, let's go and find something to eat. I didn't realise that sex was such hard work." He reached out and caught her up in a bone-crunching hug. "You look very sexy in that dressing gown by the way," he commented, kissing her as his hand wandered to the opening. "Very sexy indeed." Katherine let out a stifled laugh as she felt his hand move under the fabric and he dragged her over to the bed; lunch obviously the last thing on his mind.

62


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

London seemed very crowded and busy after the security of the university campus and Katherine tightly gripped Eric's hand, a sudden wave of nerves overcoming her as he led her into the maze of the underground system, changing trains with the ease of the seasoned traveller. He had woken her at what seemed an unearthly hour to catch the train down into London, despite travelling after the commuting period.

"Where are we going?" Katherine asked with a degree of confusion as they changed trains for the second time. She had no idea where Eric lived.

"Warwick Avenue," Eric pointed out the stop on the map above the doors. "I thought you'd like to drop your bag off at the flat, as we've got a little time." Katherine had bought a careful selection of clothes with her, unsure of what to wear, especially as Eric had casually mentioned they might go to the opera. Fuelled by panic that was partially induced by what she had read in Anne-Marie's letter, Katherine chose her wardrobe for the two days very carefully.

Above ground she felt like a provincial country girl, as she was led across a busy road and into a street full of identical large white town houses. They climbed the stairs of one residence and to her relief Katherine saw that most of them were split into flats. "Still," she reasoned, taking in her surroundings with an inexperienced eye. She was sure that property like this in London was not cheap.

With a boyish enthusiasm, Eric led her to the top floor where a large apartment took up half the space. "Anne-Marie's a solicitor," he explained, as if reading her thoughts, whilst he unlocked the front door. "Just pop your bag in here." He opened a door off the hallway, gesturing in with his arm, but Katherine stood there stunned, especially by the large mirror that reflected her entrance into the space and the smaller ones that reflected other walls. She seemed surprised at the number of reflective surfaces, given the fact that Eric seemed so ill at ease with the sight of his face.

"I don't dislike all mirrors you know, they can be very useful," he rejoined quietly, making Katherine whirl to face him in shock. "Come on, leave your bag, or we'll be late." She walked into what was obviously his bedroom, looking around in interest. Unlike the cell he kept at university, this room had the appearance of being lived in and loved, although it felt somewhat empty, it's owner obviously being absent. A set of weights gathered dust in the corner, pictures that he had drawn lined the walls. The large double bed was made up with fresh sheets, a beautiful Persian carpet on the floor.

"Eric, where are you?" she called nervously. He reappeared with a large fluffy cat in his arms, the animal looking rather peeved at having been disturbed.

"Meet Tarragon, Kat," he said with a smile in his voice, as the cat wrenched himself free before she could approach and wandered back to his sleep. "He hates being picked up as he's too fat!"

"Tarragon," Katherine murmured, realising that this was the animal referred to in the letter.

"Yeah, there was a female cat called Cinnamon as well, but she died." He shrugged as he looked at his watch. "Come on, we'd better get going, or we will be seriously late."

It took them half an hour to reach the surgery, another faceless white building with a subtle design and an overdressed waiting room. Katherine could not help noticing that as the time drew closer, Eric seemed to become more and more withdrawn, barely making conversation with her and burying himself in an out of date magazine. Yet she was aware that he was watching her despite his seeming disinterest and when she looked at her watch he spoke.

"He's running late again. I should have known. He likes to spend time with his patients and lord knows I have had my fair share." He took Katherine's hand into his and stared at it quietly for a few moments before returning it to her lap. "There's a woman I've seen in here," he mused. "It's awful, she's been burnt down one side of her body and yet she doesn't seem to care, she accepts it. It makes me feel so ungrateful and spoilt sometimes." He paused and looked down at her, his eyes glinting with a wicked mischief. "I mean, I could take this off in here if I wanted to," he reached up as if to untie his mask "and nobody would care. "There are people who come in that are much worse then I am. Some of them wear pressure garments or some type of covering, but a lot don't.

It seemed to Katherine that he had made up his mind to remove the mask when a woman strode into the room, pausing in the open doorway her gaze assessing the room. Katherine did not recognise her, but despite this, was still drawn to her petite figure and perfect appearance. It was Eric's reaction that made her draw the connection. He looked up and stared at the woman, before dropping his eyes and looking at his feet, his body tense with anger.

"Hello Eric," she said coolly. "How are you?" The question was asked disinterestedly and did not require an answer. Eric lifted his head again, drinking in the vision his mother presented.

"Fine thank you Momma." He murmured the reply in the same fashion as she had asked, as if it were expected. The family charade over, Eric's mother went and sat down a few chairs away and Eric regained interest in his magazine. Katherine's gaze travelled over them both. The dislike between mother and son was so intense it was almost palpable, the enmity radiating between them.

Her interest in Eric's mother was enough to make the woman raise her head and smile vaguely, as one would a stranger, causing Katherine to frown. The thought suddenly hit her that this woman did not realise that she was Eric's girlfriend - that in fact there was any form of connection between them at all.

"Ric," she whispered to him. "Does your mother know about us?" He turned and looked at her, a smile lurking around his lips.

"Not unless Anne-Marie has said anything, which I doubt." Their exchange was enough to attract his Mother'sattention.

"Eric," she said with a snap in her voice. "May I be introduced?" They both looked up in surprise, unaware that they were being observed.

"Momma, this is my girlfriend, Katherine Farlington. Kat, this is my Mother, Lucinda Reighland." At the mention of the relationship between them, a wave of shock and horror passed over Lucinda's face, as she fought for composure. Eric calmly returned to reading his magazine, drawing strength from Katherine's presence.

"How long have you been with Eric then?" Lucinda managed to choke out, her shock still evident.

"About a month," Katherine smiled at her, trying to neutralise Eric's rude reaction.

"A month, heavens, he never tells me anything."

"Yeah and I wonder why," Katherine thought to herself before answering. "Well, I haven't told my parents either. We get so lost in our own little world at university."

"So how did you meet?"

"Well Eric and I do some courses together and he helped me with some homework, he finds it a lot easier then I do!"

"Yes, well he is rather good at all that," Lucinda said vaguely, as if unaware of the extent of her son's abilities. "I never know how Eric is getting on, he never writes and tells me, but then I suppose that's like most boys when they leave home." She gave an ingratiating little laugh that was obviously supposed to encourage Katherine to join in.

The stilted conversation was bought to a temporary close as a nurse calling them into the consulting room. Lucinda stood up and not even waiting for her son, swept out. Eric slowly put his magazine down and stood up towering over Katherine. "Ignore her," he said rather sharply, as if he could read her confusion. "She's trying to pretend that it's all my fault." He gave her a swift peck on the cheek and walked out leaving Katherine alone.

They were gone for over half an hour, before Katherine felt a heavy hand on her shoulder and looked up to see Eric.

"All finished?" she asked and when Eric nodded in reply. "Where's your Mother?"

"Far away hopefully. Come on let's go and grab some lunch or a coffee." They walked outside only to find Lucinda waiting for them in a hailed taxi.

"Do you want to come to lunch? I know a divine place, very private, lovely food." She heard Eric mutter under his breath and glanced his way for guidance, unsure if he wished to go out with his mother, confused at how she was treating them; but he simply shrugged and so Katherine turned and climbed into the car.

Lunch was a strained affair, Lucinda talking about Eric's early life, trying to make it sound like a wonderful happy time that they had spent together. Katherine having heard Eric's version found the two stories totally contradictory.

"Anyway," his mother warbled on. "There was the time when he demanded that he needed to learn how to ride, so I went and got a pony from the farmer, - could we catch the blessed thing to put a bridle on, well I don't think so!" Eric just sat in the corner throughout lunch, eating little and saying even less, occasionally grimacing at some of the more outlandish stories.

As the meal concluded, he decided to take control. "Kat," he turned towards her. "I think we had better get going, we don't want to miss our train back do we?" He stared intently at Katherine, his eyes pleading with her not to give him away.

"Oh, what a shame that you have to go back today." Lucinda interrupted. "I was hoping that you could come and stay at home for a couple of days. Well, if you ever feel like it, please just come." Eric stood up as she made the invitation, holding out Katherine's coat, before he bent down and kissed his mother on her cheek.

"Goodbye Momma, lovely to see you again." Katherine watched closely and noticed that she could not prevent herself from jerking away from the touch of his lips, nor did she return the farewell.

They went back to Anne-Marie's in silence, Katherine ruminating over all that she had seen and heard in the past few hours. Eric's story seemed a little far-fetched when compared to the person she had just met, although she conceded that Lucinda's happiness seemed too brittle.

"Kat, I-," Eric began quietly when they reached the flat, but she interrupted him.

"What the hell is going on here?" she rounded on him angrily. "You said your Mother is nasty, but the only thing she strikes me as being is over enthusiastic and spoilt. I don't know if I should believe you or not!" In her anger she ignored the pitch in her voice, as well as failing to see the woman who came out of the kitchen at the sound of shouting. "You could have been lying to me for all this time for all I know. I want an explanation now, or I am leaving!"

"That's what I was about to give you," Eric said calmly and Katherine found herself hastily closing her mouth as the torrent of words she was about to hurl at him lost their meaning. Behind them a quiet cultured voice spoke.

"Hello Eric, this is Katherine, I take it." Katherine spun around, her cheeks two flags of flaming colour and watched as Eric went over to the woman and kissed her on the cheek before giving her a hug.

"Hello Annie, I want you to meet my girlfriend Kat. Kat this is Annie." Hearing the gracious greeting she was given and the warmth and kindness in Anne-Marie's voice, Katherine felt intensely silly.

"So I take it Lucinda turned up? Was she trying too hard as always? Did you get any?"

"Yes to all three," Eric replied, and pulled a small packet of medication out of his pocket and gave it to her. Katherine stared in amazement and Anne-Marie noticing her confusion, smiled.

"Come into the living room and I will explain. Eric would you be a love and finish making the tea?" Eric gently guided Katherine towards a sofa before going into the kitchen. Anne-Marie watched her as she sat down in a large easy chair, pushing the cat to one side. "Eric has given me some extremely strong anti-depressants" Anne-Marie explained without preamble. Lucinda suffers severely from depression, has done ever since Chris died and Eric was born. She was supposed to have been weaned off them, which is why I asked Eric to check for me. She's fine when she takes them, but she relies on them too heavily and her come down is so severe that Eric tends to bear the brunt of it when she does."

"Is that safe?"

"Oh Lucinda isn't dangerous, just exceedingly unpredictable. She has always been cold towards Eric and even when she has been off the tablets for months she has an uncontrollable temper. She blames him for everything that has gone wrong in her life. She has been to so many counsellors, but it seems to be a fixation she has." At this she broke off as Eric reappeared carrying a tray with mugs of tea. He put it down on the table and sat down next to Katherine, offering her one of them.

"I'm sorry," she apologised looking at him. "I was just so confused. It all seemed so strange and wrong. I did notice that she seemed to be contradicting herself, but I got angry because I thought you had lied to me."

"I wish," Eric's voice was grim. "You were actually lucky that she was like that today. When she is in a bad mood it can all get rather…messy," he finished lamely.

"I had better call her later and make sure that she is alright. Heaven knows what she is doing, there's a strong possibility that she might turn up here. Did you tell her that you were going back to university?" Anne-Marie looked at them.

"Yes," Katherine answered simply. "Could that be a problem?"

"It depends what sort of mood she is in." Eric answered. "If she's feeling happy and relaxed then it will be all right. We were planning to be out this evening, thought we might see if we can get tickets to the ENO. Do you know what's on Annie?"

"No, the programme is on the desk in your bedroom," his guardian replied calmly.

"What would you like to do Kat?"

"I don't mind. I would like to go to Top Shop or something and get my sister a birthday present," she said frowning in annoyance at being unable to see Eric's face. "Oh, come here." He turned towards her and Katherine reached up and pulled his mask off. Eric simply smiled at her actions and pushed his hair back off his face with both hands.

"What did the specialist say?" Anne-Marie watched the interplay between them as she unconsciously stroked the cat.

"Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. Laser treatment over Easter and the coming months to shrink the haemangioma and then removal during the summer. What a way to spend the holidays!" He caught Katherine's worried expression. "Don't worry, I only say that because it's not much fun having your face swathed in bandages in the middle of the summer, when it's hot!" He fell silent, thinking of what it would be like to have his last operation and the last piece of scarring removed.

"And will that be it then?" Anne-Marie asked. He nodded slowly, as the prospect dawned on him.

"Bart says probably a bit more laser treatment on some of the scar tissue, but otherwise…" His face cracked into a broad grin as he imagined a life without a scarred face and without the mask.

"Well, let us not count our chickens," Anne-Marie said soberly. "There is plenty of time for it all to happen. Now, are you going to go out this evening or not? Dave and I are off to the Comedy Club."

"I just need to go and see what's on at the ENO, otherwise try for the ROH maybe. I need to wash my shirt though."

"Well, go and put it on then," Anne-Marie gave a theatrical sigh. "Blasted boy," she muttered affectionately as he grabbed his mask and left the room. She turned her attention towards Katherine. "I'm sorry that this hasn't been the best trip for you so far."

"I don't think I've made the best impression I could either," Katherine laughed slightly, embarrassed at her behaviour, yet warming to the calm collected woman who sat opposite. "It is just that I get very worked up, as it is so hard to understand Eric sometimes and I didn't know what to think after meeting Lucinda and hearing the stories she told. Are they even true? Like the one about trying to catch the pony?"

"They are all true to an extent," Anne-Marie mused. "You know that Eric grew up in a little village outside of Tunbridge Wells, right in the middle of the countryside, rather isolated. So, yes he did say he wanted to learn to ride and yes a pony was borrowed for him, but Dave arranged it, not Lucinda, she wouldn't let him. Of course, we found out later that he had been sneaking out at night and riding the horses that the farmer next door left in the field. All he wanted to do was show off. It's things like that. Anyway," she waved away her explanation, "How long have you and Eric been together now?"

"About a month. In hindsight it's all happened so quickly. We went from nodding to each other in the hall to going out with each other in about two days. I must admit that it was partly me pushing it, but I didn't expect such a response."

"Do you regret it?"

"Regret it?" Katherine was shocked that Anne-Marie was even asking her such a question.

"Well, I just know that Eric is not an easy person to live with and as he is in a rather unique situation, I wondered if you regretted it."

"No, never," Katherine started, shaking her head, before pausing." Well sometimes. His temperament can change so quickly that he scares me at times, for you can't quite tell how he will react. I make an innocent comment and he flips but then when I am really stressed he'll just laugh." She shrugged at her summary of the situation, unable to find rhyme or reason to his actions.

"But he is comfortable with you." Anne-Marie observed.

"How can you tell?"

"He let you take his mask off. He has lived with me since he was fourteen and unless he is really ill or upset he doesn't let me touch it. He obviously trusts you." Their brief conversation came to an end as Eric returned with the programme for the opera; the washing machine adding its own tune in the background.

"La Boheme?" he sat down on the sofa with a flop. "It's all sung in English so it's quite a good introduction and this is a lovely opera, very sad though. Here have a look." He thrust the paper into Katherine's hands and leant back in the chair. "How is the Bradshaw's piano Annie? Has it stayed in tune?"

Katherine let them wander off in conversation as she focused on what Eric had given her, rereading the plot summary and looking through the brochure with fascination, whilst vaguely listening to the casual gossip of the other two. Their peaceful idyll was suddenly disturbed by the demanding screech of the entry phone. Eric looked up in shock, but before any of them had a chance to respond, the buzzer was hit repeatedly.

Anne-Marie flicked her gaze towards Eric, who met it steadily. "I'm certain it is," was her answer to the unspoken question. "I think you should stay in your room though." With a sigh, she pushed the cat off her lap and stood up, all the while the doorbell rudely demanding entry.

Eric stood up, held out his hand to Katherine, and led her to his bedroom, firmly closing the door behind them. She sat on the edge of his bed, white faced and tight lipped, next to where his mask lay. "Your Mother," her mouth formed the words, but no sound came out, although Eric tersely nodded in understanding.

"She will no doubt be in a hell of a mood as well," he warned. "As we insinuated that we were heading back up tonight." They heard the noise of the door shutting and his mother's tear choked voice.

"He does it on purpose Annie," she was saying. "Flaunts himself in front of everyone and then ignores me. He even bought a girl down with him today. His girlfriend was how he introduced her. He knows how I feel about that." Anne-Marie's reply was lost to their eavesdropping as the voices moved away in the direction of the living room.

Closing his eyes, Eric took a deep breath trying to stay calm and focused, as much for Katherine's sake as his. He sunk slowly onto his bed; his nostrils flared, his breathing heavy, concentrating hard on all that was positive. He was therefore taken by surprise as he felt her cool small hand slip into his as if she were trying to provide grounding for him. He studied the slim palm that was dwarfed in his, and offered an explanation.

"Just before I went up to Uni, Momma wrote me a letter." He absently traced the lines on Katherine's hand. "Asked me, well no ordered me to remember who I was and to practice restraint in my relationships, basically not to bring shame on the family name by associating with too many people. That's her view of how I should behave; so to turn up with you is in her eyes inexcusable. I know I asked you to come down, but why shouldn't I? Why should I obey her twisted logic?" He turned and looked at her, his face drawn.

"Eric," Katherine whispered, running her hand across his scarred cheek, not knowing what words would bring him comfort.

"I need to know what's going on," he whispered finally. Katherine noticed that as he opened the door to his bedroom, what had seemed like a random arrangement of mirrors gave him a clear view of the living room, reflected into the huge glass that hung by his bedroom door.

In it she saw Lucinda leaning into her friends shoulder, her body shaking with emotion. She watched as Anne-Marie spoke soothingly to her, patting her on the back and offering the comfort that Katherine desperately wished she could offer Eric.

"My Mother is very ill," Eric's voice broke her thoughts. "Everyone hoped that if I didn't live with her she might improve, but she hasn't." He returned his attention towards the view in the mirror, watching Anne-Marie untangle herself from his Mother's grasp and standing up, whilst speaking rapidly to her.

He pressed himself back into his bedroom, not wishing to reveal himself, but Anne-Marie walked intently out of the front door. Releasing a quiet sigh, he resumed his position as spy, watching his mother stand up as she brushed her tears away, straightened her top and squared her shoulders, before turning to face the door. Eric was so taken with this view that he stood openly at his bedroom door, forgetting to hide his presence, hungrily taking in the details and implanting them on his memory, knowing it was the only way he could feel any connection to his mother.

His desire made him unwary, so he was not prepared when she moved to the doorway of the living room, and stood looking at her son. With a start he realised that she was watching him closely and he turned his gaze upon her.

"Put your mask on Eric," she said almost wearily. "You know how I feel about that." He was so startled at his mother addressing him so calmly, that he stood and stared at her; not responding. "Put your mask on," she repeated tightly. "Cover up that hideous face of yours!" Still Eric remained frozen to the spot, unable to move, a mixture of fear and elation at standing up to his mother, coursing through his veins and rooting his feet.

She mistook his actions for insolence. "Put it on, put it on, put it on," she screamed, her fragile self-control snapping as she flew towards him in a rage, raking him with her fingernails. Her hand made contact with his face whipping it round, as he fought her off, trying to defend himself without hurting her.

He was so involved with his battle that he did not hear Katherine's shouts and fought against the arms that locked around his waist, pulling him back into his room, whilst Anne-Marie burst through the front door and grabbed Lucinda in a similar manner, pulling her out of the apartment.

"Lucy, Lucy, calm down," he heard her say as he sunk to his hands and knees, his breath coming in short, sharp gasps, his skin stinging, his head pounding and a haze of anger and confusion hanging in front of his eyes. As it cleared, he became aware of Katherine kneeling next to him, softly rubbing his back and quietly speaking nonsensical calming words.

He stayed staring at the floor, unable to gather his thoughts clearly, except to reach a hand out and grope for the mask, grabbing it off his bed. Ignoring Katherine's muttered protest he covered his face once again. His mother was right, it was hideous, he could not inflict it on himself, and so he should not inflict it on other people.

With the last remnants of his will and strength, he clumsily got to his feet, his head swimming and his body aching, only to seek assistance by leaning against the doorframe. He was saved from having to explain his emotions to his girlfriend, by Anne-Marie coming towards him with concern.

"Eric," she said softly, holding out her arms and taking his large form into her embrace. "Come to the bathroom and let me take a look." He docilely followed her, barely aware of Katherine shadowing his footsteps. He let his guardian take his top off, gently remove the mask and inspect the parallel scratches that ran across his chest and the bruising by his eye. Wordlessly she tended him, before planting a kiss on his forehead. "Bed for you for a couple of hours," she dictated and Katherine watched in wonder as he silently nodded and gathering his clothes and mask went to his room.

Anne-Marie turned and looked at the girl that Eric had bought back with him. Confusion radiated from her body and she seemed upset. "Would you like a cup of tea?" Katherine nodded and followed her boyfriend's guardian to the kitchen, where she sat at the table, her long hair swinging forwards, hiding her face, which had started to run with tears of bewilderment, fright and defeat.

"Will Eric be okay?" Her words came out as a whisper. Anne-Marie finished making the tea and came to join her at the table.

"You've possibly noticed that he rarely cries," she said. Katherine nodded in agreement. "So sleep is his succour and relief. You won't see him now for a couple of hours, but he will be fine by the evening. Those scratches weren't deep." Katherine gave a slight smile at the words, finding them as much a comfort as the sweet cup of tea she had been given. "Emotionally I don't know though," Anne-Marie sighed. "It makes me so cross with Lucinda," she banged her clenched fist on the table as if to emphasis her point and rid herself of her frustration. "I left Lucinda for five minutes, just went to hail a taxi and looks what happens! He seemed so much better, so much more confident, but now…. You will need a lot of patience Katherine; otherwise he will go straight back to square one. I hate to say it, but any achievements you have made in terms of getting him to open up, may be severely setback."

"How can she be so cruel?" Katherine whispered, unable to understand the scene she had just witnessed.

"Lucinda is very ill," Anne-Marie sighed. "She is supposed to have come off the anti-depressants and we all hoped that she was getting better, that this would stop."

"She has done this before?'

"Not often, but yes. It got quite bad when Eric was fourteen and that was why he ran away from home. However, I don't think Lucinda's answers lie in endless quantities of Prozac. She is supposed to be going to some clinic in America, in the summer, hopefully that might hold the key this time."

"But can't she see that Eric's face is much better? Can't she see that he is such a talented person as well?" Katherine burst out.

"Oh don't misunderstand me," Anne-Marie corrected gently. "Lucinda loves Eric, how can she not, he is her only child, hers and Chris's; whom she loved very much. But over-riding that is layers of depression, guilt and fear, which is why she tends to lash out when he doesn't do what she says."

"She's scared of Eric?" Katherine's voice was scornful, but the older lady leant over and placed a warning hand on hers.

"Eric is extremely manipulative," she warned. "He is too clever for his own good and when he has no outlets for his talents, he turns to mischief on a grand scale." She sat back in her chair, groping for an example. "Did you know that among other things he can perform ventriloquism?"

"Noooo."

"It's my fault. I was looking after him when he was five, maybe six. As a treat, I let him watch television, which Lucinda never allowed. I think it was the Royal Variety Performance, or such like. Anyway he saw it being performed there and a month later had taught himself." She gave a wry smile. "Of course being Eric, it didn't stay as a party trick, instead he decided to pretend a poltergeist had moved into the house, probably as an excuse for him to create havoc, but he did it too well. I saw it once and it was very scary. He was punishing Lucinda you see, because she had refused to listen to a piece of music he had composed for her. How many children do you know of that age who consciously punish their parents in that sort of way?"

"Oh," Katherine fell silent and thought over what she had just heard. "I take it that it was rather a stand-off between Eric and Lucinda then?"

"Definitely. Lucinda used to win arguments with him by locking him in his bedroom, so of course picking locks was one of the first things he learnt to do."

"Oh I know he can pick locks, he gets into my room on a regular basis."

"Well exactly. He almost can't see what is wrong with that. Combine a ferocious intellect, an almost untapped talent for a variety of subjects and skills that tend to have no good to them, I believe he could be quite a problem."

Katherine sat at the table, stunned at the verbal attack Eric's guardian launched on him. "You really think he could fall into the wrong way?"

"No, no, I should not have said that. What I am saying is that he doesn't distinguish between right and wrong in the same way as you or I would, as far as he is concerned it is right if the end merits the means. If he were to be placed in the wrong situation or fell in with the wrong people, then it would be a problem. All I ask Katherine, is that you keep an eye on him."

"Are you scared he might do something to Lucinda, as she has caused so much misery for him?"

"Eric loves Lucinda. He is desperate for her love and approval in return. That is partly why he does act up around her. In her eyes he is still a little boy and so that is how he tends to behave. Oh goodness," Anne-Marie lent her head in her hands. "This is probably enough to send you running out of here, never to be seen again. You have chosen a difficult person to fall in love with Katherine, if you don't mind me saying."

"I always go for difficult relationships," Katherine rejoined, her natural enthusiasm restoring itself on hearing the challenge and her chin raising a notch. "So let me summarise. Lucinda loves Eric; Eric loves Lucinda, yet they are both scared of each other. That perpetrates itself in hatred with a touch of violence. Eric is a mischief-maker who needs an outlet for his talents, " she hesitated for a moment, "say for arguments sake, a department store to run! If not, you're worried that he will fall into trouble, due to a tendency to pick the wrong path, a fact that has been apparent since he has been little" She nodded at Anne-Marie. "Is that correct?"

"Ahh, so he told you that much did he? Well yes, when Eric is twenty-five he is set to inherit, well an awful lot of money, I mean millions. He will also have a seat on the board of the Reighland Group, should he make contact with his grandparents again, which he won't because he feels that they abandoned him. You are very astute Katherine, I hope that you will help him."

"You love him don't you?" Katherine dared to question.

"I love him like my son," Anne-Marie said vehemently. "I have known Lucinda since school and I was very fond of her and of her husband. If Chris hadn't died, well things would be very different. But when he did and Eric was born with his condition, her life fell apart and she had a nervous breakdown. Lucinda felt she had to make her baby wear a mask or she would not be able to look at him otherwise. I mean his face was truly awful, you could barely see the features and Lucinda couldn't handle this."

"If you knew that Lucinda was behaving in this way why didn't you stop her?"

"I was not around that much," Anne-Marie said sadly. Lucinda was married very young and was only twenty-one when Eric was born. I was just finishing my degree and then went to work in Italy for my articles, my grandparents are Italian and I wanted to learn Italian law, so was living in Florence when Eric was little. I probably only saw him three or four times a year. I returned to England when he was four, but by then he was a precocious little boy with a healthy disrespect for his mother and a thirst for any sort of knowledge. I remember looking after him once, when he was oh, about five. I was doing some work when I realised that he was silent - always a worry. I found him sitting in the living room, reading my law case notes! She laughed. "It was then that I asked Dave, my boyfriend to come and educate him, as Lucinda wouldn't send him to school and would have got into trouble with the local authorities."

"Oh yes, Eric mentioned Dave."

"Well, Dave and I have been a couple since well; Eric got us together I suppose. I knew him as a friend from college where he had been training to be a teacher. He was very disillusioned with the whole schooling system and started tutoring privately. I asked him if he could tutor Eric and that is where it all started." She waved her hand in the air as if to encompass everything around her. "It was Dave who really helped him open up, learn about life in the real world, go out and do things. We have supported him since he was fourteen with it all. When he came to us he was scared to even go out of the flat, to take the tube anywhere as Lucinda had kept him so sheltered that he did not come into contact with that many people. He was like a frightened animal."

Katherine's mind wandered to the photos that she had found in the bottom of the desk and they suddenly made sense. They were obviously taken when he first came to live with his guardian. "I saw some photographs…" she began hesitantly.

"Ah, yes, Dave took those the first week he was here and told him to keep them and look at them whenever he felt scared or nervous and realise how far he had come."

"I find myself realising almost daily how talented he is," Katherine agreed. "And it seems silly that he is reluctant to use it simply because he is scared of how people perceive him."

"You do realise he speaks about six or seven languages, don't you?"

"Uggh, I can barely cope in French," Katherine laughed. "No, I didn't, although I realise he's very musical and he reads just about everything he can lay his hands on. I think he's read all my course books, which I haven't even done!"

"Oh, music is the key," Anne-Marie agreed. "He has been musical from as early as I can remember. "Plays the guitar, piano, violin. When he was little, before his voice broke he had the most perfect contralto imaginable. If you are ever lucky enough to hear anything he composes then consider yourself privileged, once again it is a talent that is wasted." She sighed and poured herself another cup of tea, offering Katherine the same.

"Eric's grandparents," Katherine began hesitantly. "Are they really as awful as Eric makes out? It does seem very strange to abandon your only grandson in such a manner."

"Charles actually takes a very active interest in Eric," Lucinda took a sip of her tea. "He supports both Eric and Lucinda, very comfortably. I am sure that Eric has told you that he has a trust fund?" Katherine nodded in agreement. "As I said, most of it is all tied up until he is twenty-five, but his Grandfather pays him an allowance out of it. I must admit to contributing nothing towards his existence. Charles also insists on knowing exactly what is going on, for instance he insisted on meeting Dave before the tutoring started. Oh he takes an interest, just not a face to face one."

"And Eric's grandmother?"

"Well that is a different kettle of fish. She's quite a fierce lady, as well as wealthy in her own right, and I personally believe it has rather prejudiced her views on Eric. She didn't think highly of the match between Christopher and Lucinda, although she did come to tolerate him, but I think all the trauma that the whole family has been through has coloured her picture."

"In other words, you don't like her!" Katherine noted astutely.

"I didn't say that, but, yes you are right; I don't like her. I have helped to bring up her grandson and she can barely give me the time of day." Anne-Marie smiled sheepishly. "Goodness, look at the time, we have been chatting away for over an hour here. I am going out soon, I'm meeting Dave. Did you two decide to go the opera?"

"We never got that far before…" Katherine trailed off unsure how to summarise all that had happened that afternoon. "I would really love to go, I've never been to the Opera and it sounds so exciting."

"Well just make sure that Eric gets decent seats, he has a tendency to sit at the back, drives me crazy as I love to see what is going on. Oh and do not what ever you do try and interrupt him during the singing, he's totally in another world and will ignore you. What is on at the ENO anyway?"

"Um, I think the programme showed La Boheme and Cosi Fan Tutte?" Katherine stumbled on the unfamiliar words.

"Oh Cosi's a nice one, Mozart." Anne-Marie nodded her approval and was about to utter another words, when their peace was shattered by a heart-wrenching single scream. Katherine jumped in her seat and looked around, her heart beating fast at the shock of the noise. Her companion reacted by leaping up from the table with such force that the remaining dregs of her tea were spilt across the kitchen table. She hurried in the direction of Eric's room and Katherine followed, realising that was the source of the noise.

Eric was sitting up in bed, looking around with confusion in the dim light that now pervaded the room. He had been sweating heavily in his disturbed sleep and was now shaking. "Eric sshhh," Anne-Marie went and sat on the bed, her voice calm. "You have had the nightmare, don't worry, it's all right."

"Annie," his voice was a whisper. "Oh God, I can't even remember." He buried his face in his hands, breathing deeply, his features lost in the gloom. "I haven't dreamt it for ages, I thought I had forgotten it." Katherine watched from the doorway as he pushed his hand through his hair, and reached over to switch on the bedside lamp. The light it afforded showed the slight bruise that was staring to come up by his eye, but otherwise he looked calmer. Anne-Marie had been right, it seemed that sleep was his cure, except when it was interrupted by nightmares.

"I am going to start getting ready, I am suppose to be over at Dave's in an hour. I take it you two have plans for this evening?" Seeing that her ward was not hurt Anne-Marie stood up and with a gentle touch on his head, left the room.

"Kat," Eric turned and looked at her, lounging in the doorway, unsure how to react. She came awkwardly into the room and took Anne-Marie's place on the bed.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine, just a rude awakening that's all." He swallowed heavily and Katherine could see that he was more shaken then he was admitting.

"This is a nightmare you've had before?" Eric nodded in confirmation.

"Since I was four. But I haven't had it for ages, a couple of years in fact." He paused and wiped a hand over his face. "I am surprised you're still here," he said with a shaky laugh. "Everything that has happened I have been trying very hard not to explain to you."

"If you think I would run away because things got a little weird, then you do not know me as well as you think."

"Well, I think you know me pretty well now." The words were delivered in a light tone, but Katherine could tell that he was deadly serious.

"Anne-Marie and I have been having a good chat."

"Oh, well you definitely know everything about everyone now!"

"Mmmm, yeah, that could be said," Katherine mused, noticing that as Eric was calming down, the shaking had stopped. "So what are we going to do tonight, are we going to the Opera?" She watched as he looked down, a moment of panic crossing his face as he thought it through. "Eric, don't think about what your Mother said, she didn't really mean it." Katherine guessed correctly at what was running through his head.

"I, I just don't think I am up to it. I can't, I can't," he tried to force the words out over a rising panic. "I would just feel so claustrophobic," he calmed down as Katherine laid her hand on his arm. "I would feel trapped and aware." He looked down at his lap again. "I'm sorry," his sigh was heartfelt.

"That's fine. How about a meal out?" Eric started to shake his head, but Katherine increased the pressure of her hand. "You can stay holed up in here for the rest of your life, thinking the words over and over again, or you can fight the fear. I can understand you not wishing to sit in a crowded auditorium for a few hours, but this is just supper." She spoke quietly and forcefully and Eric realised that she would not take no for an answer.

His mother's assertation echoed in his brain and he involuntarily raised his hand to his cheek, brushing the raised skin. At the same time, the doctor's words from the morning and the pleasure he had expressed at the healing came back to him. He felt a small swell of hope rise in his chest as he realised that his mother had over reacted in her moment of anger, that he was no longer the owner of the hideous face that haunted his dreams. His girlfriend was sitting on the edge of his bed showing not even a modicum of disgust at his appearance, in fact she was looking straight at him and he knew he always had the mask to hide behind.

"Just to a local place then," he agreed. "I know a little Italian restaurant, how about that?"

"As long as you promise to take me to the opera, another time," Katherine bargained.

"Deal," he shook her hand. "I had better get up." With a stretch and a yawn, he flipped back the covers and rose from the bed, the dim light casting a long shadow over the room. He looked around for his clothes that were in a heap in the corner of the room and put them on, picking the mask up from next to his bed.

"Eric no," Katherine protested as he tied it on.

"Yes," he stated firmly, covering his features, hiding from the nightmare that had woken him. "If you want me to take you out," he injected humour in an attempt to lighten the moment, but his shoulders slumped as he realised that his victory was hollow, for she wanted him to keep it off for his gain, not hers.

With a puff of his cheeks, Eric looked at her again, realising that his girlfriend was as unshakable and stubborn about him putting his mask on, as his mother was about seeing her son without it. "Oh sod it," he gave in and pulled he strings off, tossing the covering on to the unmade bed. Katherine looked up, her face lit with a happy smile.

"Good," she stood up and locked her arms around his neck, tilting her face up for the kiss she knew she would get. "Welcome to the rest of your life, Mr Reighland," she whispered in his ear. "We can do this together."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

It was the start of the summer term. The corridors in the halls of residence were crowded and noisy as hundreds of students moved back in after the holidays, bringing with them a plethora of boxes and bags to personalise their space.

Katherine and her Father carried the last of several cartons into her room and placed them with the pile that dominated the floor. She gazed around at the unappealing mess that was to be her lodging and home for the next eight weeks. Without decoration it was just a faceless box, offering no warmth or comfort beyond a bed and a desk, with a small washbasin crammed into the corner and old curtains hanging at the windows.

"Is that it love?" Her Father questioned, scooping up a piece of paper that had been pushed to one side of the door, before looking in amazement at the amount his daughter had brought with her.

"Yes, I think so."

"Right, well I had better get going," he paused. "Unless you are going to introduce me to your mystery man?"

"He is not my mystery man Dad, his name is Eric and I don't even know if he's back yet."

"Oh he is." Her Father held up the piece of paper in his hand and read it out loud to his audience of one. '_Kat, I am back. Come and find me. Love Eric' _He smiled as his daughter grabbed the note from him and read it lovingly. "Your mother still wants me to meet him you know."

"Well, okay," she sighed, admitting defeat. "It's this way." They traversed the corridors and stairs with some difficulty due to the volumes of student traffic, following the sound of loud music that was blasting out of the bedroom next to their destination, its door propped open for all to hear.

"Hey Katie, Mr F," Rob greeted Katherine's father with familiarity. He shook the outstretched hand. "Good to see you."

"Have you just come up Rob? We could have given you a lift."

"Naah, been up here working for the holidays. Needed to use the lab_."_

"That's good. Despite Dad's kind offer here, I don't think we would have had room for both of our stuff," Katherine interrupted the two men. "So have you seen Eric then? I take it he's back."

"Yeah, he's here." Rob lounged against the doorframe, unperturbed by the loud music in his ear. "I just saw him go out, but I think the room is open. Anyway, good to see you Mr F. Katie, come for a drink later?" She nodded in agreement and led her Father into the room next door, a quiet cell in comparison to the rowdiness outside. It too bore a pile of boxes and bags, in similarity to hers.

"Uh Dad, I have something to tell you," she began nervously, her back to him as she fiddled with the contents of the box on the desk. "Eric, well, he doesn't look normal," she said hesitantly.

"Pardon?" Her Father looked at her back in amusement. "What do you mean Katie?"

"Well, um, I don't know if animals can get them, so you may have seen them before, but it can be a bit of a shock, but try not to show it as he is rather sensitive. That is one reason I have not invited him home, I know Mum would be really curious and stuff, but it is just for pressure you see."

"I'm not following you dear. What are you talking about?"

"Well Eric's face of course!" Katherine turned and looked at him in astonishment. "Didn't I tell you that?"

"No. You simply babbled about him being sensitive." Her father looked at her calmly. "Now tell me again from the start."

"Eric is well, he has problems with his face." She chose her words carefully. "It's a condition known as Congenital Haemangioma. I don't know if animals can get them. Anyway, he wears a mask; for pressure and it can be quite a shock when you first meet him. Obviously he is a bit sensitive about it and I just wanted to…" Her explanation was interrupted as the door was kicked open and the object of her narrative entered carrying a large cardboard box, which he put on the floor with obvious relief.

Standing up, Eric recoiled in surprise as he saw two people watching him. His girlfriend was looking happy and eager at his arrival, the other visitor's face wore a carefully neutral expression, although there was a glint of amusement in his eyes as Katherine swooped down and flung her arms around her boyfriend.

"You must be Eric," the older man proffered his hand. "I'm Tom, Katherine's father.

"Nice to meet you Tom," Eric replied, with a smile. "Eric, Eric Reighland." He carefully watched Katherine's father, realising that he must have been forewarned, as his face was one of professional blandness, although it softened as he looked at his daughter who was clinging to Eric like a monkey. Glad for once, of a surface that hid any blushes, Eric bent down and fulfilled her demand to be kissed, before straightening and looking at the older man. "Do you need a hand bringing things up?"

"No, no, just finished. In fact need to be getting home, no doubt some crisis has erupted in my absence," Tom chuckled. "Better leave you to get on with it."

"I'll see you to the car Dad," Katherine detached herself and looked at Eric. "You coming?"

"No, I had better start unpacking," Eric tactfully replied, realising that her Father would want to say goodbye in peace and no doubt ask some questions.

Katherine pulled her parent out of the room and wandered down to the car park, where his battered old Land Rover waited. "He seems a nice enough chap," was his answer to the unasked question. "Bit weird not being able to see his face though."

"It doesn't bother me," Katherine commented with a shrug. "I can tell what he is thinking anyway, it shows in his body. Besides, he's having an operation soon and hopefully it will all be better. But please, don't tell Mum. I mean the bit about the mask. Just say he is tall and dark haired."

"Very tall," Tom amended. "I am surprised you haven't bought a stool so that you can kiss him. Don't get a crook in your neck!"

"Dad!"

"Well love, I must go but I will phone for prompting if you Mother quizzes me in too much detail." He kissed her on the cheek and climbed into the vehicle. "Have a good term. Say goodbye to Rob for me." Katherine waved to him as he manoeuvred the car out and drove off until she could no longer see him.

Strolling back into the halls she went to Eric's room. He had made little progress since they left him and was looking around in astonishment at the lack of space. "I think it has shrunk over the holidays," he said as she walked into the room.

"Oh mine has as well. Is this everything then? How did you get up?"

"Dave brought me up and just left; so yes, this is everything. Bloody good thing too, I have no idea where to put it all." He started to extricate the books from their boxes onto the shelves, unsure with Katherine's presence. So much had happened since they said goodbye to each other four weeks ago, and whilst he had talked to her on the telephone, it had not been the same.

He had missed the way she enthusiastically defended him, her ability to find the positive in almost any situation, but most of all her companionship, in and out of bed. Now that she was standing only centimetres behind him though, he found himself unable to tell her all this.

"I had better make a start on my room," Katherine noticed his discomfort and guessed that his natural reticence had reasserted itself during their time apart. "Why not come and find me when you're a bit more organised?"

"That's a good idea." He kept his back to her, but relief lightened his voice. Katherine lightly touched him in parting and went upstairs. She looked around in wonder, sighing at the sight that greeted her, and started to unpack.

Two hours later the room bore some semblance of comfort, almost everything had been unpacked, the bed had been made and she had started to hang her posters and pictures on the pock marked walls. She stood back and gazed at her efforts with a swell of satisfaction for it felt so much more comforting to have a welcoming room. Glancing at her watch she realised the lateness of the hour and how much time she had spent, yet she had barely sunk on to the bed with exhaustion when there was a brief knock at the door and it opened, admitting Eric.

"Well, you're further then me," was his opening comment. "I can't get my computer to boot, which isn't helping, wasted half an hour on the bloody thing."

"Hello Ric," Katherine grinned up at him from her prone position. He flopped down on the end of the bed, laughing as she propped her feet up on his chest. "Welcome back." He grunted in amusement and idly played with her feet as he thought how best to express what he was thinking.

"Did you have a good holiday then?"

"Oh ugh no. As I told you, Dad's receptionist started her maternity leave early, so I was employed as an emergency receptionist whilst they found a replacement. I don't know - unpaid labour. Apart from that I've been trying to revise, you'll have to go through mechanics with me again, 'cos I still don't get it."

"Which bit?"

"Well, all of it mainly." She laughed. "How did the laser treatments go?" Eric turned and looked at her, a smile playing around his lips as he realised that this was the opening he was looking for. Now that the moment was upon him he was not quite sure what to do first.

"Well," he drawled leisurely, pushing Katherine's feet off his body and sitting up straight, "tell me what you think?" He pulled the mask off in one swift movement and turned to face Katherine so she saw his features straight on.

"Oh Ric!" His name came out as a breathy gasp, full of shock and delight, as she struggled into an upright position and moved over to where he sat. "Wow," her hand came down on his cheek, rubbing the scar, which had shrunk and split into smaller raised lumps. "That looks so much better! I cannot believe it. How much treatment was that?'

"Two sessions. I have another one in four weeks and then I go in for the op, two days after my last exam." He shrugged, before a shy smile graced his face. "So you think it looks better?"

"Yes, definitely. Why, don't you?"

"Well, yes of course, but now I'm impatient and want to get rid of it totally. Do you know what I did this holiday Kat?" She shook her head. "I went to the park, had a picnic with Dave and Anne-Marie and I took the mask off. God, it was wonderful, the feeling of the breeze on your face and the warmth of the sun! It was amazing, and I've never felt it before!"

"You know it looks so much better, you could take it off for good!" Eric sobered up as she made the comment.

"I know." He puffed his cheeks out in frustration. "Annie suggested exactly the same thing, but it's harder then that. I want to, but I can't!"

"Your mother need never know."

"Yes, you're right, she wouldn't, but I still feel like she would find out, would tell me off in some way." He fell silent for a moment. "Actually, she has gone off to America, to a new clinic. It might help her - at least I hope it will."

"It may help her, but not you," Katherine said gently. "You need to accept who you are, before you expect your mother to."

"I know, I know," his frustration was felt in his words. "But, even when I think I have, it's not true." He looked at her intently. "I've been having nightmare again Kat. Nightmares! You're not supposed to suffer from nightmares at nineteen are you?"

"Well, most people haven't been through what you've been through," Katherine comforted him. "Besides, now we're back at university you can be whoever you want - speaking of which, I told Rob we would go out for a drink tonight."

"Hmm," Eric realised that she was trying to distract him. "Yeah, he told me seven at the Anchor. You're right of course," he switched the topic of conversation back to his face, "I do need to sort it out in my head, but I am hoping that it will be easier when I look normal."

"Normal? What's normal? Is normal a porn star and their huge boobs? Is normal those people who stick the rings in their lower lips?"

"The Brazilian Indians," he corrected.

"Yes, them. The thing is, we have a strange idea of what's normal and believe me, you look normal, just with a blotch on one side of your face. You would look a lot stranger with; I don't know, three eyes!" At this Eric laughed.

"I forgot how frightfully good you are at getting worked up!" He stood up and pulled her to his feet, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her passionately. "I've missed you Kat. Welcome back!"

A single scream woke Katherine from her sleep with a snap. The room was pitch black, even the dim light of dawn had not yet started to show through the thin curtains. She felt; rather then saw the trembling figure next to her, realising that he had once again woken himself up.

"Eric, it was just a nightmare," she whispered thickly, rubbing her hand up and down his leg. "Just a nightmare darling, let's go back to sleep." As if to emphasise her tiredness she let out a long yawn and snuggled back down into the covers, listening as her boyfriend's breathing calmed and he once more joined her in repose.

But sleep refused to come back to her as easily. It never did when she was woken up and this was the fifth time since term had started four weeks ago. It was as if some long buried monster had surfaced in Eric's imagination, haunting his sleep. It was always the same, a sharp scream as he stared at the remembered horror of his childhood face.

The irony, Katherine thought, realising that sleep was to evade her for a while, was that his face was looking better and better. Three laser treatments had reduced the size and swelling of the scar on his face and broken it up slightly, so what once dominated his features were now smaller red scars. At the last session he had attended the day before, his surgeon had confessed himself delighted and confirmed that the final operation could take place in a month's time.

It seemed as if the future was opening up for Eric, yet instead his sleep was disrupted by dreams of his face. The face that had scared him so much when he was little that he had tried to attack it with his bare hands.

"Leave your life behind and face the future," Katherine whispered quietly, not wanting to risk the chance of waking Eric again. He refused to have counselling despite her regular pleadings, yet he kept waking them both with this dreams.

Katherine yawned and shifted herself around her boyfriend's sleeping form, trying to settle down and fall asleep again, not wishing to see the dawn in musing over events. Eric muttered as her leg made contact with his thigh and ran a large sleepy hand over her torso, pulling her closer into him.

"I must be strong for him," she thought as her eyes started to close. "I must help Eric banish his demons," was her last thought as she once more fell asleep.

"Are we keeping you awake?" The voice swam into Katherine's sub consciousness as she sat at the back of the room, her head propped into her hands, not participating in the discussion that was taking place in her revision group. "Katherine, do you wish to add anything?" Her tutor's voice was pleasantly firm.

"Uh, no," Katherine sat up, resisting the urge to yawn. The sun had been pouring into the office, making it warm and stuffy. Combined with her broken sleep, she had found herself suspended in semi somnolence, not fully awake but unable to relax and sleep. "Well, it could be argued that to run a JIT system you, uh," she looked down at her notes, hoping that they would help jog her memory into action. "Well, a Just in time system could be said to destroy traditional supply structures and be over dominant, thereby degrading the consumers choice." She finished her answer in a rush, hoping that it was sufficient, holding her breath until her lecturer nodded in approval.

"And can you think of an example where this is happening?"

"Damn you Eric for keeping me awake," Katherine thought. She had overslept and had not woken early to read the notes she had made about the topic in question. "Supermarkets?" she half guessed, trying to remember what she revised. "The destruction of the traditional town centre by the out of town supermarket running a JIT system which requires large scale supply and coordination. Um, yet they draw the customer away as well, so the small scale supply system is uh, eroded from above and below?"

"Yes, technically correct, although in some ways it is more subtle then that." Her answer was assessed. "And can you think of ways that the JIT system is being turned around on itself."

"Backlash through farmer's markets and the organic movement?"

"Good example, such as the one we see in town every Friday, may I suggest some of you have a look, it makes a change from Pot Noodles." A ripple of laughter floated around the room at the sarcastic suggestion and Katherine, relieved to survive her ordeal tried to look as if she were concentrating on the rest of the discussion. She found herself idly doodling on the edge of her pad, thinking about Eric and why he was suddenly waking up. Cause and effect, she wrote on her notes, delayed reaction.

She sat up with a start as she stared at her handwriting. Anne-Marie's words came back to her, with her gentle warning that Lucinda's actions would have undone all the good that had been done. She had been right, Katherine realised, for outwardly Eric seemed to be winning the battle with his reticence, but the nightmares occurred whenever he visited the doctor, whenever his face was called into question.

At university the fact that he hid his face was accepted and he was therefore accepted as a person, but at the specialists and at Anne-Marie's his family ties and relationship with his mother were continuously called into question, for it was connected with his features. The cause of his restlessness was due to his mother's reaction to his face. "As soon as it is better", Katherine thought. "Then I must make sure that he gets back in touch with his Grandparents. If they accept him, then surely his mother will accept him." She gulped at the thought of the task that she had chosen, knowing her will clashed against the ironclad obstinacy of her boyfriend.

With a start she realised that the meeting was coming to a close and hurriedly gathered her belongings, before sidling out of the room, not wanting to talk to anyone or be given the chance to be lectured about her lack of participation. She hurried back to her halls, breathing in the warm summer air, trying to rouse herself whilst looking for Eric. Even without seeing the mask he was easily spotted on and around campus due to his height and bearing.

Reaching her bedroom she quickly ascertained the reason for her boyfriend's absence. He was still fast asleep in her bed, tired like she was with their wakeful night, buried in a heap of pillows and duvet. Dropping her books, she bent down and gently stroked the back of his head, making him wake up and raise his head in confusion. "Eh, what?"

"Hello darling. It's midday. I think you should get up." He looked blearily at his girlfriend and sank back onto the pillows without comment. "I'm actually as tired as you are, you know, but I had a study group and you didn't, so you have no reason to sleep all day."

"Yes okay," the mumbled reply came from the covers as he rolled over and sat up, squinting in the bright light.

"Hello," she said brightly to the scowling man in her bed. "Caught up on your beauty sleep?"

"Mm, yes. Why did you wake me up?"

"Because it's the middle of the day and it's far too fine to be antisocial and sleep through it. Besides I thought you might want to revise."

"Revise?" Confusion and scorn marked the word.

"Yes, you know, review what you have learnt, refresh it in your memory."

"Nope," His scowl was replaced as a wide yawn split his face in two.

"No what?"

"No, I don't feel the need to revise," he answered grumpily, climbing out of bed and stretching his massive frame. "Waste of bloody time. If I don't know it now, I never will."

"Hmm, I wish I had your brain," Katherine mused, watching as the naked apparition in front of her wrapped himself in the dressing gown hanging on the back door.

"Well it was mine before you stole it and you don't have a bloody bathroom," was his comment as he noticed her raised eyebrows, and grabbing her towel off the radiator pulled the hood up so his face was hidden in it shadow, before swinging out of the room. Katherine could not help but smile at his behaviour and the marked contrast to when she first got to know him. Then he would sidle out the room, desperate not to attract attention, trying to melt into the walls, now he did not care who saw him, as long as they did not see his face.

She sat at her desk and read her revision plan, hoping for inspiration. Clearly divided into the remaining days before the exams started she had listed the subjects intended for reading and note taking as well as the allocation of a percentage of time to be spent on each of them. The only trouble was that the schedule reflected a pious enthusiasm for study that she could not emulate in reality. The pile of books on her desk held no joy and she mentally dragged her feet as she opened her file.

"Much better," the voice startled her into looking away from the writing on the page and to where her boyfriend stood towering over her.

"I do wish you could make more noise when entering a room," she said with tetchiness in her voice, refusing to rise to the occasion that was presented.

"Want to get rid of your ghost?" he teased her, pushing the hood back from his face and peering over her shoulder. "Do I distract you from, ooh, structural marketing, business patterns and mechanics? That sounds like fun!" His tone of voice made it quite clear that he felt the opposite.

"Well, as much as I wish you could sit these exams for me, it can't be done. Even you are not clever enough to be able to write two papers at once," Katherine's lack of sleep and general stress levels made her irritable and she started to take her worry out on her seemingly calm boyfriend.

"Kit-Kat," his voice was calm and soothing, as he moved behind her, placing his hands on her shoulders and lightly touching her neck. She relaxed into his warmth as he softly removed the strain from her body. "You've been studying far too hard, I think we need some fun."

"Fun?"

"Yes, the opposite of horrid things to do. Let's hire a punt, go upriver to the meadows, find a grassy bank and I will explain the point of mechanics to you. I promise that if you don't understand it by this evening I shall throw myself in the water."

"But I can…" her protests were silenced as a large cool hand was firmly placed over her mouth.

"There is no such word as can't, that is what my mother used to say. So, come on, no time to waste."

He was right, Katherine thought, as she sat at the front of the long narrow boat, trailing her legs in the water. From time to time, she glanced over her shoulder, watching as with skill and strength, Eric lifted the long pole and propelled them forward down the stream. Soon they had left all vestiges of the city behind, as well as the other students and tourists who did not have the same talent when it came to rowing the punt. They found a small grassy lawn and dug the iron pegs in to the riverbank, holding it firm in the long grass.

He helped her out of the boat and they sunk on to the cotton blanket she had brought with her. "Oh this is glorious Eric," she sighed, closing her eyes against the dappled light that danced around the glade. "How did you find it?"

"Chance, it just seemed nice," he mused.

"You've never been here before?"

"Never been punting before."

"You seemed to know what you were doing." He didn't bother replying just smiled in a way that Katherine could interpret. She knew it was his way of saying that he found it easy, another talent to add to the already protracted list he carried with him. She yawned again as the heat warmed her and moved on to her side, watching her boyfriend as he almost mimicked her actions. "Why not take it off?"

"What, oh," his hand went to the mask in a gesture of embarrassment, before he glanced around their fairy glade. With a swift move, he pulled off the covering and carefully placed it next to the blanket. "Oh, that feels lovely," he commented, lying back on the rug, face up to the light.

"What does?" Katherine was not aware of any peculiar sensation.

"Sun, breeze," he said, before adding. "On my face."

"I never thought…"

He rolled on to his side and looked at her, a hesitant smile hiding in his mouth. "I have always hated summer. Hot, sticky. It makes it seem claustrophobic. To have space and air is well…." He could not find the words to describe the sensation and so he reached behind him and grabbed the mask. "Here," he held it up against Katherine's face, although she shrunk away from the threatening covering. Yet his persistence gave her a glimpse of what he went through, as her view shrunk to that around the eye holes, the leather hot, sweaty and airless against her skin. She involuntarily took a gasp of air in panic.

"No." Realising her alarm he pulled the covering away and once more placed it besides him, where it stopped being an intimidating item and once more became part of Eric, as normal as the shoes that sat next to it. Slowly releasing her breath, she decided to change topic. "So, you said that you would make me understand mechanics. You do realise that you will end up very wet this afternoon, if you don't fulfil your promise."

"Promise? Oh to throw myself - well, yes, better get started then. Where's the file?" He sat up and gathering the heavy file opened it in front of them and rolled over on to his stomach, so that he stared at it. With a sigh Katherine joined him to start the lesson.

"You're getting burnt," she remarked a couple of hours later.

"But do you understand it?" Eric sought clarification.

"Surprisingly enough yes! You were very clear and very precise, but your shoulders are very red."

"Huh," he peered down at his bare shoulders. "Oh, did you bring any sun cream?"

"No, didn't you bring a sweater or something to cover them?"

"No," he glanced around, seeing if anything could offer some protection, suddenly aware of the burning warmth of his skin. With a stroke of inspiration he realised they were lying on a light cotton throw. "Roll over onto the grass," he instructed and Katherine obliged. With a flourish he swept the cloth up, shook off the dust and tied it around his shoulders where it draped like a multi-coloured cloak, the ends hanging down to his calves.

"Very nice, very dashing," Katherine giggled, admiring his state of dress as she brushed the grass off herself and packed up their remaining things. She stashed the bags in the boat and watched as Eric tied the mask on. Letting go of their mooring, he steered the boat back into the lazy flow of the river, still wearing his impromptu costume against the late heat of the day.

"You know what you look like," she mused leaning against the cushion and looking up at him as he propelled the boat forward.

"What?" A slight breeze caught the edge of the cloak and sent it swirling around him.

"The Phantom of the Opera."

"The what?"

"The Phantom of the Opera, you know, Andrew Lloyd Webber's show. I just thought with your lovely cloak there," she gestured to the throw with a giggle, "and a masked man stealing a woman off and rowing her across a lake…", she trailed off, as Eric seemed to find her explanation unamusing.

"It's a book actually. By Gaston Leroux, Le Fantom de l'Opera," was his comment.

"Book?"

"A book and several movies _and_ a stage show, but I have only read the book."

"So you know what I am talking about?"

"Well," he violently pushed the boat forward, rocking it slightly to elicit a scream from his passenger. "Seeing, as I am not kidnapping you, I am returning you and the closest we are going to get to an underground lair is my bedroom; no there is not that much similarity. Also, I have no intention of teaching you to sing as I rather value my eardrums and the most accurate statement you have ever made is when you described your musical abilities."

"Ah, but you can sing."

"Next you are going to call me a crazed monster and suggest I should live under an opera house, at which point _I_ will have to throw _you_ in the water," Eric sighed, unhappy with the turn of conversation, but determined not to let if affect the happiness of their afternoon.

"No, I'm not calling you crazed. It was more just the setting of a picture, then an actual comparison," she soothed. "Besides, you don't look like a tortured soul to me."

"Humph," Eric agreed with her summary. "Not that there are any opera houses around here. Living under the cinema doesn't have quite the same appeal. Are you now going to accuse me of appearing in your mirror and torturing your lover?"

"Now that would be a talent as my mirror is far too small and as you're my lover you can hardly torture yourself. No, I would much rather you helped me like you did today. Thank you." Katherine hastily changed the topic of conversation. "It makes so much more sense when someone bothers to sit down and systematically go through it with you and explain when you get stuck."

"Well, the trouble is that it's rather like building blocks." Eric was mollified by her thanks. "If you don't understand something at the beginning, what's taught later has no foundations to build on. You know more then you realise, it was just a bit muddled."

"It makes sense now. All I need to do is pass this year Ric and then I will be fine. I can understand formula when they are applied to a model, but this random maths is a little beyond me."

"The exam is in two days, so if you can keep it straight in your head for that long it will be fine."

"Ugh, I cannot believe exams start in two days."

"Just think they also finish in a week!"

"Mine finish in two weeks actually. Mechanics on Wednesday and then next Tuesday and then the Friday after that is the last one. When are yours?"

"Wednesday, Monday and the Tuesday after that," he replied calmly. "It could be worse, Rob has a whole day of practical exams as we speak." They punted along in silence, the boat shed coming into view with people milling around it. "Do I really look a prat in this?" Eric indicated his impromptu cloak."

"Yes," Katherine replied. "Without a shadow of a doubt," He chuckled and without breaking his rhythm; he untied the garment and threw it at her, bearing his red shoulders to the assembled multitudes as he moored the boat up and helped Katherine onto the small wooden pontoon.

"Thank you for a lovely day," he bent down and kissed her.

"That should be my line," she smiled up at him.

"Ahh, but you got me out of a hot stuffy room, made me do some exercise. Good for the soul."

"Well," Katherine replied, a wicked gleam in her eye. "I was rather hoping you would come back to a hot stuffy room with me and we could take some more exercise!" He grinned, understanding her invitation.

"Good for the soul?"

"Very, and other parts too!" His laughter joined the happy chatter of hundreds of people as he put his arm around her and together they wandered back to his room.

Eric checked that Katherine was fast asleep as he stealthily slipped out of bed. He sought refuge on the windowsill, behind the curtains, leaning against the cool glass, trying to calm his panic. The dream had not been so bad this time and he had not disturbed her sleep, only his. It was always the same, the dark ugly black shadow, and the hands reaching out trying to grab him as ran away, lungs bursting. It was no longer the monstrous face that used to haunt his childhood dreams, but a dark threat that he could not stand up to and this filled him with more fear then the reflection he had witnessed that day.

With a slow reluctance, he drew his hand down the side of his face, feeling the growths that were to be removed, dreading the pain of the operation and even more confused and worried about the ending of one part of his life and the beginning of the other. "I'm scared," he whispered to deaf ears. "Kat, I am scared, please help me."

Eric threw down his pen and with a cursory check on what he had written, silently stood up and exited the exam room with time to spare. His head pounded, his body heavy with exhaustion, the mask sticking to his face like a second skin. He had not had a single night of uninterrupted sleep for over a week and it was starting to tell. He was short tempered, tetchy and generally irritable.

He headed back to his room, in the hopes that he could have a few hours shuteye before he started on the mammoth task of packing his room up for the end of term. He sighed as he passed the posters advertising the summer ball and other events celebrating the end of the year for he would be unable to participate in anything as he was due to go into hospital for the final operation on his face.

He reached his room without seeing anyone and dropped his bag on the floor before falling onto his bed. Hardly aware of his surroundings he fell fast asleep, not even removing his mask.

He did not know how much later it was but he heard the quiet noise of someone opening a door and sat bolt upright before he had even fully woken, grabbing the leg that was next to his bed without thinking.

"Eric!" His name came out as a shout of fright.

"What, where…" as he fully woke he realised that the leg he held fast in his grip was his girlfriend's who was standing there, watching him. "Oh, sorry," he apologised letting go of her appendage. "I was dreaming; I think." He went to rub his eyes and realised that he was still wearing his mask. "Hey, what…?" His confusion was so evident that Katherine sat down on the edge of the bed and looked at him in concern as he pulled the covering off and scratched and yawned.

"It's six o'clock Eric, I came to see if you wanted to join us for a drink before supper. We are all going down the pub."

"You're meant to be studying," he said gruffly.

"Well I had a good exam today and now have two whole days to revise for the next one so thought I could spare an evening off. Are you going to join us?"

"No, I don't think, I'm not sure." He was sure that he was still half asleep, for his thoughts were disjointed, his words not forming properly in his mouth. He shook his head trying to clear his thoughts.

"You look like you could do with a nice warm bath and an early night actually," Katherine smiled and placed her hand on his face.

"Oh stop it," he muttered shaking it off, unsure why, but he found the gesture annoying.

"Eric," her tone was lightly chastising, as if she realised he was not quite himself.

"Look, I'm just very tired, I might join you later," he could not keep the annoyance from echoing in his voice. "I just need to pull myself together. Are you at the Anchor?"

"No, probably The Dog and Duck, they have ice cold Guinness, which Chris has decided he is rather partial to." Eric let out a grunt of amusement. "Do you want me to bring you anything to eat?"

"No," he scowled.

"Okay, well, we might see you, we might not. I'll pop in later if you don't come over, check that you are okay."

"Heavens sakes Katherine, I am not a fucking baby," he said nastily. "I can bloody well manage for myself. At his tone she stood up.

"I know that but you're tired and I'm trying to help," she said with considerable dignity. "Sleep well." She dropped a kiss on his forehead, although he remained stonily rigid, knowing that to apologise would make him vulnerable to more of her fussing. As soon as he heard the door slam he dropped back down onto his pillows and within minutes was asleep again.

When he next woke the sun was pouring through the curtains. He sat up on his wrinkled bed, with a stretch and a yawn. For the first time in what felt like ages he had slept the night through and now with a clearer head he felt he was up to the task of packing up his room. Already the heat of the day was building. He glanced at the clock next to his bed, which read eight in the morning. Just time for one last run, he thought grimly and changed into his running shorts and a t-shirt. Slipping outside he let his thoughts drift as he started to jog and then sprint around the edge of campus, knowing that for the next month or so he would be unable to take such strenuous exercise.

It was later that day that Katherine and her friends lay on the lawns trying to study and take advantage of the warm sunshine. The midday heat was too much for all of them, but they relentlessly lay there, their files open in front of them; hoping to combine revision with a tan.

She shaded her eyes and looked at the figure sprinting around the edge of the lawn and back towards the halls. Unable to clearly make the person out against the bright light, she wondered if it were Eric although the figure did not seem to posses his ground-eating stride. "He wouldn't be stupid enough to run at this time of day either," she muttered to no one in particular. She was still angry about his rudeness to her last night. She knew that he had had a long exam and realised that the stress of this; coupled with a lack of rest was telling on him. She had given up sleeping in the same bed with him, for his disrupted repose was telling on her as well, degenerating both their tempers.

"Lucy, do you know the pre requisites for the sighting of a small company?" she finally asked in desperation, realising that she had read the page in front of her four times.

"Kath, I do English, how am I supposed to know?" Lucy rolled over and lazily opened one eye. "You should ask Eric, he's the genius amongst us."

"With a foul temper to match," Katherine added bitchily, her annoyance rising to the surface.

"What's the matter Kath?" Caroline sat up, noting the tone in her friend's voice.

"Oh, he's such a pain in the ass sometimes and he is so rude and…" she trailed off. "He says he doesn't like coming outside that much as it's so hot, you know with his mask and all, but then he is so moody when he stays inside. Its just so eugghh." She was unable to put words to her frustration. Her friends tactfully remained silent. "Anyway he is going in for an operation soon. He finished his exams yesterday, lucky devil."

"Aren't you worried?" Jenny asked. "I mean if Rob was going in for an operation I would be on my prayer mat."

"Of course I am," Katherine cried. "It's just when he is so pig headed I cannot feel very sympathetic towards him." The other girls exchanged knowing glances.

"So how long have you two been going out anyway?" Lucy asked, holding her arm up in front of her face to see if her tan had developed in the past few hours.

"Since January, so that's five, six months."

"And your parents still don't know!"

"They know, but only my Father has met him. I really wanted to wait until after this operation, hopefully it will be the last…" She trailed off lamely, glad of her friends' support. With her persuasion, Eric had explained to them what exactly was wrong with his face and why. It had been a clever move for it increased their trust and as they had moved closer together as a group of friends, away from the social whirl of university life, they took Eric with them.

Katherine quietly reflected on their time together. Her boyfriend could be sociable and charming, a source of amusement and amazement as he showed off his extraordinary catalogue of talents with an almost obnoxious ease. Yet at the same time he could also be moody and changeable with a temper that could flare up with the slightest provocation, and more often then not Katherine found herself on the receiving end of it. Yet she knew that he loved her deeply and trusted her implicitly despite his shows of anger, and had learnt that it was best to leave him to calm down, for if she challenged him, at once the confident young man would disappear and would be replaced with a scared grovelling child. Despite all this, she knew that she loved him absolutely and it was her burden to put up with the baggage that he carried with him.

She was pulled from her thoughts by Jenny nudging her in the ribs to gain her attention. "Speak of the devil." Sitting up Katherine saw Eric strolling across the lawn to where they lay. He was barefoot, dressed in his shorts and ripped t-shirt, his typical uniform. Wandering over to where the girls' lay he stood there idly, throwing a short shadow over them.

"Eric, you're blocking the sun," Jenny complained as the darkness hit her. He obligingly moved out the way.

"Are you coming to lunch?" he asked the crowd generally. The response was almost unanimous as they sat up except for Katherine who resolutely remained lying there.

"Where?" she asked.

"The Anchor. Come on, a nice boozy lunch will do you good."

"Are you paying?"

"Yes," he conceded. Katherine sat up and smiled, although it didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Pass me my shorts then please." He willingly did so, trying to pluck up the courage to apologise for his short temper, although not wishing to do so in front of their friends. They trailed the others up to the pub, following them into the beer garden, and gathering around a wooden bench where some of the boys were already seated. It was the usual crowd. Jenny and Rob, Lucy, Caroline and Chris, with Eric and Katherine making up the set.

"I'll get this round," Eric volunteered, hoping to have a word with Katherine who had already gone inside. "What's everyone drinking?"

A chorus of replies were returned for various beverages and he quietly memorised them before walking into the cool dark interior. He paused to let his eyes adjust to the lack of light and saw Katherine waiting at the bar, one elbow propped on it, so that she was lazily leaning against the wood. Her long tanned legs were encased in a pair of faded shorts and all she wore on her top half was her bikini. The long dark hair that was normally left to flow down her back; was gathered into a bun on top of her head in an attempt to stay cool. Eric thought he had never seen her look so lovely and moved toward her, meaning to tell her so.

"What would you like?" The barman interrupted his crusade. Katherine raised one eyebrow, with a slightly mocking smile, as if aware of his thoughts and Eric felt guilt and shame wash over him, as he recalled his words of last night.

"Four Gin and tonics, one Guinness and two Stella please," he placed the order without tearing his gaze from her. She looked back at him, without speaking, the ensuing silence painfully uncomfortable. "Kat," he finally managed to stutter. "I'm sorry about last night. I didn't mean it."

"What about the day before that and the night before that, as well as every other day this week?"

"What?"

"Eric," Katherine sighed. "You've been in a foul mood since the exams started. I've tried to be patient, but you keep ripping into me. It's beginning to hurt really badly and it will take more then a 'sorry' this time." Eric looked at her in surprise. "I know what is bugging you and this heat is getting to everyone, but that does not give you an excuse to be so nasty all of the time. Please sort your temper out." She gazed at the drinks on the tray. "Listen, I don't feel like anything to eat. I think I may have a bit of sunstroke and am going to lie down for a while. Make my excuses to the others would you?" Not waiting for an answer she turned and left him standing at the bar.

Back in the coolness of her room, Katherine flung herself down on her bed. She was tired and hurt with Eric's behaviour. Kicking off her shoes she curled up and closed her eyes, promising herself a few minutes rest.

When she woke, she felt the coolness that came with the descent of the sun. Grogginess controlled her limbs and she climbed off the bed and splashed her face in an attempt to wake up, before standing at the window and looking onto the small courtyard in the fading light. Behind her someone tapped quietly on the door.

"Come in," she called softly, turning from her position at the window and watching as her boyfriend entered holding a carrier bag. He turned and shut the door, rather then letting it slam as customary.

"You're awake," his voice was deep, soft and warm and it wrapped around Katherine like a blanket, lifting and calming her. She said nothing but her lips turned up slightly at the corners. "How are you feeling?"

"Groggy."

"You probably had sunstroke. I came up earlier and you were out for the count." He walked further into the room. "I brought up some food, I thought you might be hungry."

"What's the time?"

"Seven. You've been asleep for six hours!"

"Oh."

"Do you want something to eat?"

"Yes please," she replied, realising for the first time how hungry she was. At this Eric smiled, pleased that she was calm and not ranting and raving at him. He realised that she was as tired as he, for she had shared much of his burden, but unselfishly had not taken its effects out on everyone else. Crouching down on the floor he unpacked a selection of food on to the small table.

"Just some French bread, Brie and some wine, nothing complex," he commented spreading them out picnic style. "Come on Kat, come and eat, it will make you feel better." Katherine realised that this was his way of showing how sorry he was and walked into his arms. "I'm sorry," he whispered into her hair as he held her gently, letting her head rest against his shoulder as he rocked her gently.

"What's wrong Eric?" she finally asked. "You can't fool me, what's worrying you? If you don't talk about it, it will only get worse." He pulled back and looked at her, but her face held no mockery.

"I'm going into hospital tomorrow."

"No, no you're going in a week's time," Katherine contradicted, shaking her head and pulling back to look at him. His mask was still in place and she pulled it off, not wanting him to be able to hide behind it.

"No, tomorrow, I spent the whole day packing."

"But, I have it written down, you go in after the end of exams."

"The end of my exams, I finished yesterday."

"Oh God, how stupid of me! No wonder you've been so off." She tightened her hold of him. "Are you scared?"

"Yes," the word rang in her head in such a way that she wondered if he had even said it. "The last time I had a major operation I remember it hurt like hell. Worse still it was itchy, hot and uncomfortable. Maybe it's worse in my memory then it really is."

"So when are you going in? When are you going home? How long will it take?" Katherine started to fire questions at him, her worry beginning to rise uncontrollably and making her sound slightly hysterical.

"Come on Kat, I think you need some food," Eric hugged her tightly before sitting down. Pulling a corkscrew out of his pocket he opened the wine. "Drink this," he ordered pouring her a generous glass before putting together a plate of food. "Firstly, I leave tomorrow morning, I spent the whole day packing. Secondly, I am going in tomorrow evening, although the operation is on Friday morning." He looked at her quizzically. "What were the other questions?"

"How long will it take?" Katherine took a sip of wine, relaxing as the warmth spread through her.

"It'll take as long as it takes," he answered non-comittally. "Although usually about four hours, maybe five. I tend to be asleep. Next question?" He handed her a plate of food and poured some wine for himself.

"Can I come and see you?"

"Do you want to?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure? I'll look pretty damn ugly. Not that it normally seems to bother you. Seriously Kat, I'm a human mummy for a few days and then turn into my usual role as a bad tempered sod, as the painkillers start to wear off."

"Which hospital?"

"University College, it is one of the best hospitals in the country for it. I am too old for Great Ormond Street now." Katherine didn't know what to say. Lulled by the alcohol, the whole prospect seemed less frightening then at first, but it still filled her with unease.

"My exam is on Friday," she said finally holding on to him with desperation. Then I'm finished. The summer ball is on Saturday, so you have to put it off, we must go together. I've even bought my balldress, so you have to take me!"

"I'm sorry Kat," he disentangled himself from her grasp. "There is nothing I can do. Go to the ball without me and have a good time with everyone else; raise a glass to my health." He took a long swallow of wine, keeping up his courage. He found that by trying to reassure Katherine it stopped him dwelling on his own fears.

Katherine didn't know what to do. The wine had spread into her limbs and her brain, yet her glass never seemed to empty. She did not realise that Eric kept filling it, hoping that it would make her sleep in tomorrow, so that he could slip away without panicking her. She stretched against him and he wrapped her arms around her, kissing her on the forehead and holding her gently against him until she fell asleep. When it happened he put her to bed and kissed her once more, before creeping from the room

The morning came too quickly, even though he had had little sleep. He had spent the night, sitting on the windowsill, half-heartedly reading a book and trying not to reflect on what was to come. He longed for a joint, but did not dare due to the anaesthetic he was to shortly receive. As the sun rose he had crept into his unmade bed and grabbed a couple of hours sleep, before being woken by Anne-Marie and Dave knocking on his door.

It took them nearly an hour to empty his room, before he handed in the key. "We're going to wait in the car, if you want to say goodbye to Katherine," Anne-Marie came up behind him.

"No, that's okay, we said our goodbyes last night," Eric replied. "I didn't want to….", he trailed off, unsure how to explain his worry.

"She will understand and will want you to," his guardian placed her hand on his arm.

"Yeah, right, back in five minutes," he said sprinting upstairs. Running to her room he went in without knocking. She was lying in bed, not asleep, but not quite awake. He sat down and ran his hand down the side of her face. Her eyelids fluttered open and she looked at him.

"Hello darling," she said drowsily, before realising that he was up and fully dressed. "What's wrong? Why are you up?"

"I just wanted to say that I love you and please come and see me in hospital and I will think of you all the time," he said bending over and kissing her on the lips. She returned it, pushing herself up on the pillows.

"I love you. I will miss you," she said quietly. "But I will see you soon."

"I had better go. Anne-Marie and Dave are in the car." He bestowed one last smile on her that faded as he walked out the room and down to where the car was parked. As they pulled out of the grounds he took one last look at what had been his home for the past year, before looking to the future.

92


End file.
